I Don't Need No Stinking Debit Card

     A few months back I blogged about dealing with our new bank which acquired our old trusted financial institution somehow. The change meant our old ATM cards would be automatically replaced but instead of sending ATM cards our new bank sent us debit cards. We complained and after the usual rigamarole you get dealing with bureaucratic institutions nowadays, we received ATM cards. I thought the matter was over and done with.

     But as has happened so many times lately, I thought wrong.

     When we returned from our winter vacation and, still dealing with our Covid infections, I tried using my ATM card to withdraw some cash. “Incorrect PIN” flashed a message across their sign-in screen. What?? It had been a month but I was sure my PIN was correct. I tried again with the same result. I tried a different PIN we had used in the past. Nope, no go.

     So I walked into the local bank and the manager punched something into his computer and said I had been only issued a temporary card. He then brought out a catalog with permanent cards I could choose from. They were all debit cards. I complained that I only wanted an ATM card. After conferring with a teller who seemed to know more about this than the bank manager did (scary thought too), he decided my card was in fact permanent. After making a few adjustments in his computer and asking me to type in a new PIN number, he said I was good to go. And, indeed, the ATM card worked at their ATM there. I again thought the matter was over and done with.

     Again, I thought wrong.

     A week later, I tried using the ATM card again to withdraw money. This time my PIN worked fine. In fact everything worked fine until it was time for the ATM to dispense my cash. “Transaction canceled” flashed across the screen this time. It happened two more times on two different ATMs. Same message, same result.

     This time I called the bank's customer service number and got one of those phone tree answering systems. The robo-answerer told me to describe my problem. I said it was a problem with my ATM card.

     “You say you're having problem with your debit card? Is this correct?” the female voice asked.

     “My ATM card!”

     “I didn't quite get that. Could you repeat that?”

     “My ATM card does not work?”

     “You say you're having problem with your debit card? Is this correct?”

     “NO. MY ATM CARD!” I know these calls are “recorded for accuracy” and I sure as hang wasn't going to describe my ATM card as a debit card. That would put me on record as saying I have a debit card. And I don't need no stinking debit card.

     “Let's try this another way,” the robo-answerer suggested and eventually I was able to get to a real human on the phone, though his accent made him less understandable than the robot who initially answered. This gentleman did understand the difference between an ATM card and a debit card.

     “You need to explain that to the robot who answers your phone,” I chided, but he ignored my sarcasm.

     When he checked into it on his end after I told him the problem, he couldn't quite understand why the ATM was giving me that message. From what he could see, my card should work fine.

     “It's very strange,” he said.

     For us seniors, life nowadays is strange enough. We don't need it any stranger. He said he would order me a new ATM card—I made sure he didn't say debit card—but he thought I might still try the old card in the meantime to see if it worked.

     So I did. And it did. I got my money with the old card I had. Like the man said, very strange. Now watch me get a new debit card in the mail. For me, that would NOT be strange.