Miscommunication

      My brother recently celebrated his 70^th birthday at a fancy restaurant with friends and family. The menu featured diverse offerings including something called a 'tofu steak'. Somebody pointed this out to my brother and he agreed that it looked good.

     But tofu isn't my idea of a steak and I'm sure my brother would agree. In fact,, I don't believe tofu and steak belong in the same sentence together let alone together on a menu. My brother apparently thought so too as he ordered the sirloin steak skewers. But that's not what he got. When the waitress delivered his meal, it was in fact a tofu steak.

     He said he didn't order that but another guest at his table said, indeed, he did. Apparently he said that 'tofu steak' looked good at the same time the waitress was writing down orders. Chalk it up to miscommunication.

     I couldn't be there at the birthday dinner as my wife and I were on a cruise across the Atlantic. The cruise director announced that our crew was made up of over 50 nationalities and the language spoken by all aboard the ship was “broken English.”

     My wife and I can have trouble understanding broken English. When we watch a TV show produced in Great Britain, sometimes we have to turn on the closed captions as we have trouble translating the English accents of the characters.

     One day while we were in a public area of the ship we heard the captain announce an emergency on deck four and for the appropriate team to respond. We saw one uniformed officer break into a trot as he headed for the stairs. Other crew members look concerned. It was a bit unnerving.

     Minutes later we heard another announcement in the captain's broken English. What I heard was, “The first dangerous bomb has been found.” What?? A bomb has been found? And it's the first bomb? I couldn't have heard that right. I asked my wife Wendy what she heard and she repeated the same thing I thought I heard. But there was no panic. Nobody seemed concerned. So . . . chalk it up to miscommunication, Thank goodness.

     Our port destination guide spoke of a trip to Thailand where he and a friend went into a more isolated and rural section of the country, stopping at a small cafe for lunch. According to the guide, Thai people in particular have difficulty understanding English and the menu they were handed was written in Thai script which neither the guide nor his companion could read.

     The men wanted chicken so they tried through gestures, even imitating a chicken by flapping their arms and making clucking sounds. The Thai waitress still appeared confused, possibly even more so now. But by luck, a free range chicken walked past just then, chickens often roaming free in foreign countries as Wendy and I have learned.

     So our guide and his friend excitedly pointed out the chicken, saying that's what they wanted for lunch. Finally, the waitress seemed to understand. Minutes later, the men heard a loud BWAWK-AWK of a screaming chicken, followed by a chopping sound. They inadvertently had doomed the poor chicken who had wandered by their table.

     Somehow they were able to communicate that they hadn't wanted THAT chicken who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. And they were able to order fish instead. Again, chalk one up to miscommunication. Poor chicken.