Doing The Math

     My wife and I rolled up in our mini-van to the drive-through window at Tim Horton’s to order our favorite coffees.  The tab came to something like $3.26 so I gave the cashier at the window four dollars and a penny.

     “Why did you give me a penny,” the cashier said in a surprisingly indignant tone.  Did he think my giving him a penny was part of a swindle?  I just thought I’d get three quarters back instead of a palm full of loose assorted change.  Before I could explain however, a voice from behind the cashier, a manager perhaps, explained it herself.  The cashier turned towards the cash register, satisfied apparently that I wasn’t a con artist or something.

     Within a couple weeks of this incident, my wife and I rolled up to another Tim Horton’s again to order coffee.  Yes, we go Tim Horton’s often.  Too often probably.  The tab again came to $3.26 so I handed over the same amount I’d given before, four dollars and a penny.  No quarrel from the cashier this time.  She returned to me three quarters . . . and a penny.   She lost a penny in that transaction.

     Now I don’t like to pick on the younger generation, but maybe the ‘new math’ I hear is not all it’s cracked up to be.  Let me share one other anecdote.  Recently I spotted an instant lottery ticket lying face down in the local high school parking lot.  Was it accidentally dropped perhaps before the numbers had been scratched off?

      I decided to pick it up—I could always just throw it in a nearby trash receptacle if it was just litter.  Turned it over and the numbers had been scratched off.  Darn.  But recalling how those young cashiers had been baffled by counting change properly, I thought maybe young students similarly would be baffled by the intricacies of an instant lotto ticket.

      Sure enough.  They scratched it off apparently without reading the fine print.  And I later turned in a discarded instant lottery ticket to collect $20.  Now I’m no math whiz.  Math was always my least favorite subject.  But maybe I’m just good enough. 

     Well, most of the time.

      After waiting six weeks since I had mailed our federal tax returns, we still had not received a refund.  Last week, we finally got our money.  But it was a couple thousand less than I expected.  What ??!!  Could I have made an error using my trusted Victor medalist adding machine?  

      As it turned out, no.  When I called the IRS, they said that they agreed with my various additions and subtractions.  My calculations were spot on.  But I’d absent-mindedly checked “Married Filing Separately” instead of the correct “Married Filed Jointly”.  And the IRS, true to form, made sure I paid the maximum penalty for my negligence.  Now I have to wait another four months for the rest of my money.

       *sigh*  Better go looking for some more discarded instant lottery tickets in the meantime.