Car Sharks

Our 13-year-old mini-van is nearing the end. The instrument panel has so many "service" lights burning, it could double as Christmas decorations. When I tried changing tires a couple weeks ago, the tire jack couldn't lift the car without puncturing the rusty frame. If I had everything repaired that needs repairs, the cost would bankrupt my pension.

But there's one thing scarier than driving around a rusting hulk with more strange sounds than the Haunted Mansion ride at Disneyworld: visiting the showroom of a new car dealer.

I hate, hate, hate dealing with new car salesmen. I think that was even before an incident several years ago when we purchased and drove home what we thought was a brand new vehicle, only to find out it was two years old when we played the new car owner's video guide lying on the back seat. Argghhhhhh!

Anyway, I checked the internet, watched the ads, and started pricing likely suspects. It appears that Chrysler is the only domestic dealer that makes mini-vans anymore. I saw an advertisement for a 2010 Town and Country for under $19,000. Not bad. Wife Wendy heard on the radio that they have employee pricing for everyone. I called a salesman and he kinda confirms that we should get a great price on this car.

This dealer is about 40 miles away but for a good deal, we'll drive that far. Found the dealership and asked for Chris, the salesman I talked to on the phone. And . . . it's like the phone call never happened. Suddenly, under $19,000 became over $25,000! What??

Now here's the scam. From what I see, all the Chrysler advertisements for new cars in the area newspapers are full of rebates that the average car buyer would never qualify for. In order to get the advertised price, the buyer has to be a Chrysler employee, be a member of the miltary too, must be turning in a leased Chrysler vehicle earlier than the contracted lease period, have a daughter named Bob and be able to stand on his head for 30 minutes while juggling balls with his feet.

In otherwords, very few qualify to get this car for the advertised price. We said so long to Chris and wondered if our mini-van could possibly make it to 300,000 miles (it's already well past 200,000).

This week, in our local newspaper, there was another ad for a Town and Country for under $19,000 at a local dealership. OK, new plan. I'm not even going down to the sales lot until I get a commitment on a price over the phone (is anybody out there chuckling at my naivete?)

I do call and get Tiffany, a new car salesperson, on the phone. I told her I assume that the advertised price is for Chrysler employees. Yes, I am told. So what kind of deal can an average Joe like myself get for the same car.

She says she doesn't know. (Doesn't know???) She says I would have to come down to the showroom, pick out a vehicle, then she would see what rebates I qualify for and then give me a price. But she says they are selling cars at "rock bottom" prices. I wonder if that's any better than the "great deal" the other salesman promised.

Couldn't she at least give me a ballpark figure so I know I'm not wasting my time, and my wife's time, driving down there? Apparently not. She refused to quote me any price whatsoever. But she told me to come down and she would have several vehicles ready for me to test drive. There was even a $25 gift card in it for me just for visiting.

I told her I would get back with her.

In the meantime, I think I'll pump a little more air into my Schwinn. If the mini-van goes, at least I'll have a back-up.