When High Tech Is Scary

Like many Americans, I’ve been following the Obamacare website debacle with some interest, particularly because at my work we’re struggling ourselves with a new software upgrade.  Is there ultimately a limit to what technology can do?  If there isn’t, should there be?

 

     I mean just about everything electronic now has a chip in it, from multiple parts in our car to the electronic gadgets you use to communicate, entertain and keep track of your life in one way or another.  And they say you can’t do anything on your computer anymore without somebody  being able to find out about it.

 

     Take my fantasy football team, for instance.   For the second year in a row, I’m at the bottom of the league.  That I blame on being cursed after a visit to Stonehenge in England last year (it might have affected my favorite University of Michigan wolverines as well but that’s another story).  Week after week, I tried changing my line-ups, acquiring new players, even using a charm acquired from an occult shop to transfer the curse to another manager . . . nothing worked.  I still kept losing.

 

     Then I noticed something peculiar.  When I loaded up my fantasy football team page, there’s a sidebar advertisement for Toyota that pops up with an actor smiling while he says something that's not audible but pops up later in words on a separate screen.  After my team had been doing horribly I loaded up my team page, and I see this actor looking over to my team record from his sidebar box and shaking his head.  What?!  How does he know how I’m doing?   The following week my losing streak was extended and I see this same actor in that same advertisement putting a paper bag over his head as he looks at my team record.

 

     How can they do that?  How does an advertisement get programmed by somebody to react to something that happens independently?  Or, at least I think it’s independently.  Sometimes . . . I wonder.  In my work, I deal lots with numbers of all kinds—batch numbers, transaction numbers, ID numbers, etc.  I was working in a particular part of my spreadsheet that involved random batch reference numbers generated by our computer software.  Then I saw this—check out the last line in this table below:

 

 

BATCH                                                          REFERENCE

311594	08452Z
311594	099115
311594	125634
311594	142359
311594	163319
311594	224710
311594	680035
311594	812773
311594	812773
311594	812773
311594	ITKNWS

I find that too eerie to be a coincidence.  

Finally, there is something that happened to me tonight.  I was typing in a Yahoo search engine and mistyped the year 2014 as 3025.  So, for the fun of it, I continued on anyway leaving 3025 and the next couple letters of the word I intended to type to see what hits I would get.  What happened next was jaw-dropping.

If you search Yahoo, you know it tries to guess what you're searching for by giving you some suggested options as you type.  What it did was give me 3025 and my last name.  Mind you, I have an unusual last name.  Everybody with my last name is at least a shirt-tail relative.  But apparently one of us has a street in Illinois named after them because that's what Yahoo suggested I might be looking for--an address on a street with my surname.  Weirdorama.

I see this is the first blog I've put up in two months.  I know I've said it before, but it bears repeating, time is just like water through my fingers lately.  But I'm not too late to wish everyone the best of the season and a happy 2014.

Don't Prey On Me

    Isn't it terrible the number of misleading advertisements or outright scams there are out there today.  I recently read an AARP article about a senior citizen who shipped almost three quarter of a million dollars overseas hoping to collect on some lottery there.  It was a scam, of course.  She tried suing the bank for allowing her to wire all that cash but she lost.

    Moral?  No matter what your age and situation, you need to be on guard.  I never thought that would be a problem with me but a couple recent incidents told me otherwise.  The first time occurred when the doorbell rang and a lady wearing a nametag and carrying a clipboard smiled and explained she was from a utility company and asked to my my recent energy bill.

     I assumed she was from THE utility company so when she told me that there was a problem with my bill and I could do something to eliminate some energy recovery charge, I figured it was legit.  Before she left, I had determined there was something a little fishy.  Turns out this outfit, which has been under investigation for its marketing practices outside Michigan here, wants to be your energy supplier.  They become THE middleman who buys energy then sells it to your utility.

    But . . . unfortunately I signed up anyway, for some reason.  I blamed it on turning 60.  I did cancel almost immediately and hopefully it didn't cost me anything to do so.

    Second time: it was the night before my last vacation and I went on-line to make a quick last-minute reservation.  I knew what hotel chain I wanted to stay with, so I went to their website to make the reservation.  At least I thought I did.  Turns out I went to a website that advertises with major search engines so their website which mimics the actual hotel's website shows up at the top of your search results.

    And that's where I ended up.  When I made the reservation, I thought the room cost seemed the normal price, but the taxes and fees were quite high.  Oh well, tourists are getting gouged more and more by taxes, I thought.  Only after I had received the actual e-mail confirmation did I realize that this reservation website had charged me a $10 booking fee.  What a scam!  Had I made the reservation with the actual hotel website, I would have been charged the same price for the room, but without the $10 booking fee.

     Right now I'm looking at a notice I got through the mail.  It looks very official.  It's from the "Motor Vehicle Division" and inside says an 'Immediate Response to this Notice is Required.'  It's addressed to my attention and lists the mini-van I bought a few years ago along with a Vehicle Code number.

     It reads, "Our records indicate that you have not contacted us to have your vehicle service contract updated."    It urges me to call during "operating hours" before October 18.  Gee, I didn't know a service contract was mandatory in the state of Michigan.  Yes, my warranty has expired.  No, I don't want an extended warranty.

     Dirty way to try to make a buck in my book.

     Has it really been six weeks since I last put a blog up?  I think some scam artist is robbing me of spare time too.  But I do spend time with my grandsons.  I took my oldest grandson Grant to a pumpkin hunt just today.  I took six pictures trying to get him to sit still and smile at the camera.  But THAT was worth the time and effort.  See photo.

   

   

How I Spent My Summer

    It's been quite a while since I put up a blog.  For whatever reason, the summer just got away from me.  Me?!  And I'm semi-retired???!!!  So let me explain in pictures what I've been up to.

    Of course, being a grandpa, I spend some time with the grandchildren.  In fact, on one of my days when I play the retiree, I become grandpa's day care for Grant, the eldest grandchild in the picture above.  No way could I handle both Grant and his baby brother Luke, shown with his prison green stripes in the picture above.  More on Grant later.

     I'm also trying to get a handle on my garden.  Some vegetables, such as the pumpkin below, thrived while others literally never got off the ground.  And I neglected to label some of my vegetable plants so now I'm not sure if they're a pea or a pepper.

    And this pumpkin is growing in the middle of my backyard.  Pumpkins need their space, lots of it I found out too late.  So it was either having a nice, neat manicured lawn back of our house or two pumpkins, both like the one pictured.  Since I love all things Halloween, I picked the pumpkins.

     Grandson Grant really gets a kick out of my pumpkins and I hope he got a treat out of watching them grow.  He has his favorite routines at bumpa's day care:  check out the 'lawnmower house', turn my bike over so he can spin the wheels with cardboard pieces making motorcycle noises, play at the 'castle'--an elaborate play structure at the local park, and engage in long coloring sessions of Oso the bear.

    He loves all things Oso, a character on the Disney Junior channel.  Just when I thought I was on easy street with 20 episodes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse recorded for playback, he decided he didn't like Mickey any more.  Oso was his new fav.  So I have 20 episodes of Special Agent Oso recorded and spend almost as much time drawing him on whiteboard as we do watching him on TV.  Grant draws him too.  See if you can tell which Osos are mine and which are his in the above picture.  "Draw Oso," he tells me.  If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that . . .
 

    Wendy and I did manage a couple Michigan trips too.  I mentioned one in my previous blog.  Our second trip took us to the Upper Peninsula where I took the picture below.

     What happened was that while we were driving on a busy, tricky road in the U.P. a bug landed on our map of Michigan which was open on Wendy's lap next to me.  Wendy hates bugs and panicked, quickly opening her passenger side window and pushing the map to the open window to get rid of the bug.  Both bug and map got sucked out the window, and it was too dangerous to try to retrieve it on this stretch of highway.

     As far as the picture above, here's the caption I put on it in Facebook:

When your map gets sucked out the car window, you rely on a free tourist map. When you rely on a free tourist map, you go down unfamiliar roads. When you go down unfamiliar roads, you end up in Bigfoot country. Don't let your map get sucked out the window.

Pure Culinary Michigan

  The state of Michigan is heavily marketing itself as a tourist destination under the catchphrase 'Pure Michigan.'  No doubt most of the ‘Pure Michigan’ TV commercials we’ve seen narrated by comedian Tim Allen, himself a Michigan native, are only seen here in the state.  They want us Michiganders to vacation at home.  “We’re on a Michigan adventure,” used to be the sing-song jingle that accompanied these marketing efforts.

 

       So Wendy and I decided to do a weekend Michigan adventure of our own so to speak, hitting some culinary hotspots between Ann Arbor and Grand Rapids.  We’re always looking for a trendy new restaurant or an out-of-the-way diner that’s a hidden gem so to speak.

 

       The Grass Lake Diner placed third in the state for best breakfast, according to the newspaper chain M-Live which sent its own culinary experts out to find the best breakfast spots throughout the state.  Wendy and I stopped there first.  Grass Lake is a just a village and the diner reflects that.  I’ve seen living rooms that have seated more people than this place.

 

      The few people waiting in line with us stood next to the wall overlooking the diners themselves.  I’m sure those eating were conscious of me and Wendy watching to see who was close to finishing so we could grab their table.  While in line, we could study the menu which was on a blackboard behind us.   Their Elvis French toast is supposed to be their hit menu item.  But neither of us likes French toast, so I had a pulled pork hash while Wendy did the traditional bacon and one egg.

 

     The verdict?  My hash was spicy, made more so with tiny jalapeno peppers.    They listed peppers on the blackboard menu, but maybe they didn’t know how to spell jalapeno so they left it off.   Other than that, breakfast was fine if a bit disorderly with the waitstaff huffing and squirming to reach all the diners.  Grumbled one waiter, “We’ve had more diners in the last two months than we’ve had in the last two years.”  That’s the price of fame, bro.

 

     Watching over all of this from her post by the cash register was a woman we judged to be 80 years old.  She helped to clean up tables and spills, seated diners, and answered questions besides cashing people out and wrapping fresh silverware in napkins.  Wonder if she was the bouncer too if there were unruly patrons.

 

     That night, since Wendy and I are big fans of the burgeoning Michigan microbrewery scene, we visited the Brewery Vivant in Grand Rapids.   We tasted various ales and artisan cheeses, to the detriment of our pocketbook.  I think “artisan” is to food what “designer” is to clothes, just an excuse to jack up the price.

  One unique aspect of this microbrewery is that it’s located in a former church.  That gave me mixed feelings.  The rotating tap of current brews was listed on what obviously used to be a hymnal board.  And the bar itself was strategically placed on the former church altar.  Wasn’t there a story in the Bible about Jesus throwing people out of the temple for selling their wares?  Can you imagine what He would think about this?  They had outdoor seating here but I’m glad I didn’t sit under the darkening skies there, lightning bolts and all.

 

     Finally, on the way back from Grand Rapids we stopped at Joe’s Gizzard City.  If anyone’s heard of the Food Network’s Guy Fieri, then they probably know of his popular Diners, Drive-ins and Dives book and TV program.  Joe’s  restaurant was featured in a TV segment, one of the few Michigan eatieries so honored.  

This is one place you do NOT want to stop on the way to your doctor’s for a cholesterol check.  Most everything is deep-fried here from the featured chicken gizzards to desserts.  Yes, desserts.  Deep fried cheesecake anyone?  I settled for some onion rings and some fried gizzards which actually weren’t too bad when you dipped them in the proffered side of cocktail sauce.  Though I worried what my doctor would think, I’m glad I wasn’t the lady at the adjacent table who ordered a whole plate of deep fried gizzards as she received assistance breathing from her bottle of oxygen sitting on the floor next to her.

 

      I'll stay away from greasy fried foods when I'm on oxygen.  When it comes to Michigan culinary adventures, you have to draw the line somewhere.

Shhhhh, He's Sleeping

       Another day spent watching my grandson, who is napping right now as I write this.  In fact, I snuck in to take this picture a few minutes ago.  Of course, the flash going off woke him up but I just used it as an excuse to tuck him in better and let him drift back off to dreamland.

      Tuesdays are the day I watch my eldest grandson, Grant.  He's a cutie, isn't he?

       Hmmmm, looking at this picture too reminds me that I forgot to wash the peanut butter and jelly off his little mug after lunch.  *Sigh*  And he's not wearing his shirt because it got soaked when he and I were watering my vegetable garden out back.  His shorts are a little wet too but I figured his diaper probably works both ways, right?

       This is the fourth or fifth time I've watched him.  The first two times grandma Wendy helped to watch him to build my confidence.  It's been a long time since I've taken care of anyone under the age of three.

       I'm prepared though, having recorded 14 episodes of his favorite Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on the DVR.  We also usually visit what Grant calls "the castle", a large play structure at a local park.  Then the library is only a few blocks away, which has puppets, toys and large stuffed animals.  Books too but his interest in those usually lags behind.  We read one book today, which he picked out and happened to be the same book he picked out last time.  It's not even an interesting story.

      We also play outside, his favorite game being basketball.  I put his little basketball hoop up near the driveway so we both can shoot baskets, him with his little toy b-ball hoop and me with the backboard and net set up on the garage.  "I'm going to shoot three baskets," is his usual comment, though I don't understand why three is such an important number to him.  Heck, that wouldn't even put him in double figures if he were playing a real game.

      Then along comes a plane which is always interesting enough to interrupt play to check out.  And before long he's dragging out footballs, softballs, a volleyball . . . anything round that's involved with a sport.  And he likes me to turn my bike upside down so I can spin the wheels really fast.  Sometimes I'll press a cardboard flap against the tire or spokes to imitate the sound of a motorcycle.

      But I heard him say "Owwwww" after he put his own hand on the spinning wheel.  Guess I should have seen that one coming.  Bumpa's still learning.  At least he didn't try to grap the spinning spokes.  That would have been worse.

      Well, I best check on him again as I heard him whimper and stir.  I promised him a cookie or a donut if he took a good nap.  Nothing wrong with that, right?

     

     

     

My Bucket List

     Isn't he adorable?  That's my new grandson Luke in the picture.  He's actually a month old now but time seems to just fly by lately.  And I've been told that since I'm retired the time will go by even more quickly.  Somebody compared it to when you're getting to the end of a roll of toilet paper . . . you never seem like you have quite enough left but what's left goes quickly.

    I'll have to think of some better imagery.

    Today was my first day as an official retiree.  I cut the grass, paid some bills, converted some returnable bottles and stray coins into cash for my retirement piggy bank (I've got about $40 there), picked up the house, made the bed--which is my wife's only standing order since she's still working, and took a nap.

    I'm not sure why I ran out of energy to the point where I needed a nap, but then maybe that's why I felt I had to retire before I turn 60 later this month.  Anyway, I decided to start a bucket list of things I want to do before the toilet paper runs out completely.  Here's what I got so far.  And since traveling is my favorite pasttime, it weighs heavily on my list.

     1.  Go to Ireland.  We want to do this relatively soon, probably next year.  I like traveling and Wendy likes to travel to countries where English is spoken.  So this works for both of us.

     2.  Camp at Bahia Honda State Park in the Florida keys.  We've passed this park a couple times while driving to Key West and I think it just looks like paradise.

     3.  Camp at Disneyworld, hopefully with my grandsons.  Disneyworld has an area set up for guest campers, from tents to trailers.  We've stayed before in the Disneyworld hotels but I've always been interested in what a camping vacation at Disneyworld would be like.

     4.  Buy a camper.  Kinda goes with number 2 and 3 above.  That would be a major expense for a retiree but I think we'd make good use out of it, including . . .

     5.  Travel around the country, staying a week or several days in places where we've never been, particularly out west.

     6.  Take a Mediterranean cruise, one that would made extended port stops at Italy and other countries.  We're not big on cruises, but I think this one would work for us.

     7.  Not to be monotonous, but finally I'd like to take an adventure tour, one of those National Geogaphic expeditions,  Or something like it.  I teased Wendy about going to Antarctica, but I was just kidding.  Maybe the Galapagos or New Zealand.

      8.  Aside from traveling, or maybe as a side bar bucket, I'd like to publish a travel article, one that'd pay me a stipend of some kind.  Since writing has always been an avocation, I'd like to publish something in the fiction realm as well, something I also could get paid for.

      9.  Learn to golf.  I've never done it.  But I figure it's never too late to learn.

    10.  Miscellaneous.  There's a ton of home fix-it projects that await.  I'd also like to water ski again, something I haven't done in 30 or so years.  I've been looking for a new mannequin for my Halloween coffin for years.  Finding that would be worth a check-off of sorts.  I'd like to learn what my digital piano can do besides let me play simple songs.  And so on, and so on.

    Lots to keep me busy.  Maybe I should cut out the naps.

Retirement!

    Maybe it's something about turning 60 this year, or maybe it just feels like I've had enough of the salt mines, but I've given notice at work that I'm retiring.  Financial advisers seem to be pretty unanimous in feeling that my paltry 401k, or whatever it is, will not put me anywhere Millionaire Acres in the game of life, but as I noted in a Christmas letter a couple years back, what I need more than money right now is more time.

    I was hoping to make a low key exit.  Though I've worked at my place of employment for over 30 years and of course have made friends there, I just wanted to be the fellow to just ride off quietly into the sunset.  Just my style.

    Alas, I was asked to give a two-month notice and as soon as I did that, they posted my job--with my name next to it.  I wasn't expecting that.  So every day since, and I mean EVERY DAY SINCE, at least one person has come up to me with congratulations and the inevitable questions.  When is your last day?  Is Wendy retiring too?  What are you going to do?

     OK, my last day is April 30th.  Wendy is NOT retiring, despite having worked longer at the same place of employment (we actually commute to work together).  She's still younger than I am by about three years.

     And I don't know exactly what I'm going to do other than having promised to watch grandson number one for one day a week after grandson number two arrives.  And number two is due any day now.  I do have a to-do list at home that would easily carry me into the next century.  And I'm still young enough, I think, to try something else in life.  My bucket list includes publishing something in the fiction category.  Maybe I still can wax creative in my golden years.

     Anyway, I say goodbye to my work area pictured below.

  That's actually my desk on the right.  I share the office with a colleague who does much the same work I do.  He's just a little less neat.

  Though I won't be earning a steady paycheck anymore, I'm using the last few checks I'm getting to amass a little travel fund for the wife and myself.  Now to figure out where to go.  Maybe out to Washington DC to visit son number 2?  Or maybe eventually take another trip overseas, possibly to Ireland this time.  After our difficulties in Paris I kind of want to stay some place where they speak a reasonably recognizable version of English.

   Or maybe we'll just find that sunset when Wendy retires and ride off together.