Tuesday, April 10, 2007

It's Alive . . . It's Alive

Yes, it's alive!

My new computer, that is. I bought a laptop a couple weeks ago to replace my aging cyber-dinosaur that sneered at my efforts to do anything productive with it. Now I just needed internet access, something I haven't had at home since last year.

Until yesterday, that meant I had to walk to the local library and forage for an open computer there. Sometimes that meant sitting next to some giggling junior high schoolers using the library as a kind of afterschool hang-out.

Or even worse, sitting in the "adults only" carrel next to some sleaze-meister accessing hard core pornography. That happened more than once. One time some bozo pervert abandoned his public desktop with some pornography still streaming across the screen. When I sat down, every time I tried to close one window, three more would pop up with still more x-rated videos.

Eventually I tamed the beast, but I was thankful that no youngster happened by in the meantime. All I would need to hear would be, "Mommy, what are those people doing on that man's computer?"

So last week, I called Verizon customer service. I was caller eighty six in queue. Every few seconds, they would update this, so eventually I was caller 79, then 61, then 54, and so on. By the time they got into single digits, I could feel my heartbeat. This was getting exciting.

When I finally got a live person on the phone, I signed up for DSL high speed service. A modem would be delivered by UPS and I should be connected in a little over a week. Sure enough, my modem arrived in the mail in a couple days. Then I got an e-mail at my workplace, telling me my DSL was up and running. Billing had commenced!

Except this e-mail was sent to me Friday night. How many people go to work on the weekends just for the fun of it? Or just to check their e-mail. Why didn't they call me on my home phone? Verizon IS our local service. They HAVE my number. So I didn't learn that my DSL was active and waiting until Monday.

After trying and failing to get on-line myself, I called Verizon tech support. Matt, a nice and very patient gentleman, stayed on the phone with me for well over an hour until my wireless connection was established (something about a problem with the new Windows Vista operating system).

So I'm here! Live! On-line! Now for the ultimate test. Let's put this first blog up.

########%^%^%system uplink lost@#$@#@@$@@!!!!!!@#$@#$firewall breech^^xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx^&*^*&********server integrity compromised^&^&^&^######################## SySTEM FAILURES^^^................

P-R-E-P-A-R-E____F-O-R____ I-N-T-E-R-N-E-T____ S-H-U-T-D-O-W-N!!!!!


Blogger Nankin said...

Good luck. It did post and I just read your blog.

If you want a real surprise, type in the word, "highheels" into google. I was shocked.

3:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Daves Dad here. I read your blog Dave, came in good, even the stuff at the end of your blog,your computer must be like mine. I get that stuff all the time. and they tell me I need a new computer.

5:01 PM  
Blogger Peter said...

Loud (VERY) and clear Dave, congrats.

5:12 PM  
Blogger Kacey said...

Welcome to the modern world, Dave! My laptop travels from Ohio and my wonderful Buckeye-Express cable service to Florida and my great Embarq hi-speed internet service. If you don't get proper service from your company, keep looking and checking out all the options. I'm so happy that you are going to blog more regularly. You are one of the favorites around here.

7:05 PM  
Blogger Spider63 said...


10:57 PM  
Anonymous squirrel said...

Yeah!! Glad to have you connected to OUR world wide web!

11:31 AM  
Blogger Lucy Stern said...

Well Dave, I hope you work out all the kinks. It's a pain in the a-- trying to get the Internet working properly....

Our new computer did some strange stuff when we first got it, but our daughter (the computer expert) got it working properly. I keep my fingers crossed that it stays that way.

12:31 PM  
Anonymous Deb said...

Yeah Dave! BTW, I present you with an award over at my new place.

2:16 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Big Dave,

Congrats on your new Verizon DSL. Over here, we didn't have to phone in to order anything...the Verizon DSL salespeople were at our door every other day! I finally got so annoyed, I ordered it. Welcome to our world!

2:56 PM  
Blogger Babette said...

Bonnie, Belle, Bernadette, and Babette blame Babbage.

6:03 PM  
Anonymous caroldee said...

HI dave.. feel your pain. I will not have service after june 1st like I have had and will have to look elsewhere.. I don't think it will be verizon..maybe NETZERO if I can figure it out.. I have done the library thing.. was so frequent the public thought I worked there!! HAH! In my neck of the woods that porn stuff is not allowed .. THANK GOD!! I would just be worried about laptops being accessed illegaly WHAT a hassle.. take care.. : )

10:12 AM  
Blogger Summer said...

Congrats!! i hope that you feel much better now that you can surf the net and blog out of the comfort of your own home!!!

10:22 AM  
Blogger Lee said...

Good on you, Dave! It must be so great now, the convenience of being able to do all your computering at home...and no further being inundated with the porn of others!

9:13 PM  
Blogger Peter said...

Hi Dave, re your comment and offer of an up to date photo, if you can email me one I plan a follow up post shortly.

5:17 AM  
Blogger Carine said...

Computers are wonderful pieces of machinery when they work! Hope the kinks are few and the joys many!

6:25 PM  
Anonymous Maria said...

Enjoy your new lap-top and Verizon. I have a number of grey hairs that have Verizon written on them. Wait until you have a problem and contact them for help. It is an experience similar to Dante's hell.

6:33 PM  
Blogger LZ Blogger said...

Big Dave ~ We can all relate! Sorry you are missing the "Jerk" Dinner hey! mon! We be GROOVIN! ~ jb///

8:03 PM  
Anonymous schnoodlepooh said...

it's so much fun getting connected. I've gone through that also. They tell you "it's so easy .... even a caveman can do it". Yeah right. I spent hours and hours on hold, on the phone, blah blah blah... well, I finally did get connected but it was awfully PAINFUL.

11:35 AM  
Anonymous cassie-b said...

Congratulations, and good luck. It's nice to be able to log on whenever you want.


8:27 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

I am providing interpretive services; rates are negotiable.

This also applies to you, Dave. I know you'll be interested in knowing what you wrote.

5:06 PM  
Anonymous Terri said...

Whoa, Dave...welcome to the world of high tech! Glad to hear you took the leap.
Gosh, that's terrible about the porn at the library. What people do in the privacy of their home is one thing....but when it's so easy for children to have access....not good!
Hope all is going well with your new connection. With limited problems, that is!

10:45 AM  
Blogger simply me said...

You are such a good writer - I so enjoy your blog. It may take me a while to catch up but its worth it. Welcome to the world of DSL.

6:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


11:03 PM  

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