It's Alive . . . It's Alive

Yes, it's alive!

My new computer, that is. I bought a laptop a couple weeks ago to replace my aging cyber-dinosaur that sneered at my efforts to do anything productive with it. Now I just needed internet access, something I haven't had at home since last year.

Until yesterday, that meant I had to walk to the local library and forage for an open computer there. Sometimes that meant sitting next to some giggling junior high schoolers using the library as a kind of afterschool hang-out.

Or even worse, sitting in the "adults only" carrel next to some sleaze-meister accessing hard core pornography. That happened more than once. One time some bozo pervert abandoned his public desktop with some pornography still streaming across the screen. When I sat down, every time I tried to close one window, three more would pop up with still more x-rated videos.

Eventually I tamed the beast, but I was thankful that no youngster happened by in the meantime. All I would need to hear would be, "Mommy, what are those people doing on that man's computer?"

So last week, I called Verizon customer service. I was caller eighty six in queue. Every few seconds, they would update this, so eventually I was caller 79, then 61, then 54, and so on. By the time they got into single digits, I could feel my heartbeat. This was getting exciting.

When I finally got a live person on the phone, I signed up for DSL high speed service. A modem would be delivered by UPS and I should be connected in a little over a week. Sure enough, my modem arrived in the mail in a couple days. Then I got an e-mail at my workplace, telling me my DSL was up and running. Billing had commenced!

Except this e-mail was sent to me Friday night. How many people go to work on the weekends just for the fun of it? Or just to check their e-mail. Why didn't they call me on my home phone? Verizon IS our local service. They HAVE my number. So I didn't learn that my DSL was active and waiting until Monday.

After trying and failing to get on-line myself, I called Verizon tech support. Matt, a nice and very patient gentleman, stayed on the phone with me for well over an hour until my wireless connection was established (something about a problem with the new Windows Vista operating system).

So I'm here! Live! On-line! Now for the ultimate test. Let's put this first blog up.

########%^%^%system uplink lost@#$@#@@$@@!!!!!!@#$@#$firewall breech^^xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx^&*^*&********server integrity compromised^&^&^&^######################## SySTEM FAILURES^^^................

P-R-E-P-A-R-E____F-O-R____ I-N-T-E-R-N-E-T____ S-H-U-T-D-O-W-N!!!!!