It's A Racket, I Tell Ya

One of my life's little philosophies has been that the more money you have, the harder people will try to take it away from you.

Not that I have a lot. Of money, that is. But in my campaign to retire before I expire, I've been frugal to a fault stashing away the extra dollar. And it hasn't been easy.

Our local car dealership sent us a flyer with a coupon that advertised for a discount oil change. Also included was a coupon that advertised ten per cent off any major service. Since we just had our oil changed, we didn't need that done, but I decided to replace the ball joints on the front end. Expensive at over $400, but I'd get $40 off with the coupon.

Except that when I dropped our car off in the early morning at the dealership with the note and the coupon, I didn't see that my wife had given me the wrong coupon--for the oil change instead of the ten per cent discount. Since I wasn't wearing my reading glasses, I didn't notice. It could have been a pizza coupon I attached to my note and car key and I would have been none the wiser.

The dealership obviously knew I didn't mean for them to do another oil change since I just had one done. So they didn't. Do you think they would have given us ten per cent off knowing we must have made a mistake and given them the wrong coupon? Not a chance. No discount on our bill. Argggghhhh!

Fast forward to another oil change for our second car which came with a free 27-point inspection from the dealership. We also asked for them to rotate the tires, which would cost us an extra $25. I received a phone call from them while they were working on the car. They said we needed two new tires and an all-wheel alignment. OK, I said, I would take it to a tire place. Cheaper than having the dealership do it, I figured.

After I hung up, I thought to myself, now they're not going to rotate the tires knowing that I'm going to replace two of them anyway, right? Wrong. They did and charged me for it. I argued with them at the dealership to no avail.

Another of my philosophies is that everything's a racket nowadays. My first electric razor lasted years and years. Now my new one had been grinding to a halt, despite my regularly emptying the whisker deposits. Probably need to replace the rotary heads, I thought. So I went shopping. It costs $30 to replace the three rotary heads that hold the razors! NEARLY HALF AS MUCH AS A WHOLE NEW RAZOR COSTS! What a racket. Now I know why so many older men are bewhiskered. They can't afford to shave!

Taking matters into my own hand, I sprayed my razor with WD-40 lubricant, figuring that would loosen and free whatever was gumming up the heads. Uhhhh, no. Seemed to make it worse, in fact.

But then I managed to pry off the old rotary razor heads and found a stiff brush with which I meticulously cleaned each one. It took me a while and was messy as heck. But it worked. My razor is good as new. Not only that, but now I save on cologne as well since my clean shaven face also carries the manly aroma of WD-40 oil. What woman can resist that.

One tiny step closer to retirement.