Wednesday, February 07, 2007

The Cost Of Forgetting

That picture there is my dad, taken long ago when he was just another Catholic school lad in Bay City. He says this school picture here is a favorite of his. How it got here on my blog is another story.

Last Sunday was my dad’s birthday. Ordinarily I send him a card, but this year I forgot. No excuses--I just plum forgot. So I thought I would call him up on Sunday and wish him a happy 77th. Before I could call that day, my mother called me. So I confessed I hadn’t sent dad a card.

“He was checking the mailbox yesterday for birthday cards,” my mother said. (Guilt level rising.)

So my father came on the phone and I wished him happy birthday. He said that since he hadn’t received a card from me, he thought maybe I was going to wish him a happy birthday on my blog instead. Uh, no. That wasn’t my plan. (Guilt level still rising.)

He explained that his favorite picture of himself as a youngster was missing. He and ma had searched for it, but it was nowhere to be found. So he thought I must have absconded with it, intending to feature it here on his birthday. It made sense, since I know my dad is the most frequent visitor to my blog. But the thought of doing so hadn’t crossed my mind. (Still rising).

Then this past Monday, I received an e-mail from my sister. She said she had stopped by our folks house after I had spoken to them. In her e-mail she wrote, “I bought dad a "DAD" coffee mug since the one he had for several years had broke. (Guilt at extreme level now) Also threw in a jar of Black Cherry jam. Black Cherry was always his favorite ice cream.” (Danger, Will Robinson, Danger!)

She added that our mother had given her that picture of my father some time ago, but mom had forgotten she’d done so. Missing picture mystery solved. Hmmmmmmmm, guess I’ve inherited my mom’s forgetful genes (Guilt level stabilizing). My sister suggested that she scan that picture of my father and e-mail it to me so I still could publish it in a blog That would make things right again. (Guilt level dropping, dropping . . . )

That’s the story of how the picture appears on my blog. Happy belated birthday, dad. And thanks to my sister and her hubby who scanned the picture into their home computer. She said she had time as she had the day off from work so she and my brother-in-law could celebrate their wedding anniversary yesterday.

Oh, oh. Did I remember to wish her a happy anniversary? (Guilt level rising again)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Daves Dad here.
Hey Dave liked your blog.
It was a surprise.
Your sister sure can hold a secret.

1:40 PM  
Blogger Peter said...

Hey Dave, your Mom has an excuse for her forgetful memory... comes with the age... but for you, well I don't know!!

3:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nice save dave.
i forgot also,but i figure the bison skull is good for a mulligan.
didn't know it was sue and jeff's anniversary thou, guess i'll have to go look for another skull.
tell wendy i said hi. the boy's ate her cookies before gary's.
hope gary doesn't read this.

6:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is Isaiah, you should know who I am!! haha well tell G-Dad I said Happy Birthday and I never got to look at that bison skull that Timothy sent and I hope I get to see it this summer.

7:26 PM  
Blogger Lee said...

Happy Birthday, Dave's Dad...even if I'm a little late...however, the intention is still heartfelt. I hope you duly reprimanded Dave! ;) know how memory plays tricks sometimes...I can't even remember who's blog I'm commenting on! ;)

Hey...we turn a year older ever second of the each day is a Happy Birthday...I hope you enjoyed and enjoy yours. :)

8:52 PM  
Anonymous Kristy said...

Lovely photo. All old family photos should be scanned and distributed liberally among family members. It's the best way to ensure their long-term survival.

11:43 PM  
Anonymous enforcer said...

I knew it was Dad's birthday but it was also Superbowl Sunday and they had a half barrel at Rob's. I did offer an envite to you Dad. So what was wrong with my cookie's Tim and Isaiah?

7:11 AM  
Anonymous Beezwax Not Yours Inc. said...

Szczęśliwy Dzień urodzenia Grampa!

8:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Enforcer, There wasn't anything wrong with your cookies it's just that there was so much right with mine. What can I say?

9:53 AM  
Anonymous Rhea said...

You know, the way I see it, featuring your dad on your blog is worth about 15 birthday cards.

12:50 PM  
Anonymous vicki said...

Happy Birthday, Dave's Dad! 77- why, you're just hitting your stride.

Guilt is a useless emotion unless it is "anticipatory guilt" and keeps you from doing bad stuff,e.g."I would feel really guilty if I picked on Bonnie just because she cheers for that Cow College" so then you don't pick on her. Like that.

I hear it's been just a wee bit cold in my old stompin' ground...

(Your father was a handsome lad!)

3:30 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

Happy Birthday Big Dave's Dad!! I love this post...and I adore the photo. It's a keeper!

Also, thanks Big Dave. I made it to the finals in the Share the Love Blog Awards. Thanks for your vote...and er...if you get the chance (sheepish level rising) can you go back and vote again? (face turning red now) The link is on my sidebar (hiding face now...and all mirrors because shameless plugging for herself is not one of the Sideway's Chica's best traits, but KACEY made her do it!) :)

5:05 PM  
Blogger Lucy Stern said...

Happy Birthday Big Dave's dad....Dave how could you just forget your Dad's birthday???? I hope he doesn't forget yours. What kind of cookies were they? I have a wonderful recipe using Cinnamon chips. TF just loves them....Love the picture.

6:13 PM  
Blogger Kacey said...

Poor Dave--- Someone has really been giving you a bad case of the guilts! My "honey" turned 75 on the 3rd --- two of our kids sent cards and the third one put a big birthday thing in her church blog. (We didn't read it for a few days and I wondered why she would miss his 75th) Parents never forget kids' days because it is one of the most important days in their life. You are enough of a present for your Dad --- just ask him!

And yeah---everyone go to Here's to Happy Women" and vote in the Share the Love Blog Awards. She is a finalist in Best Writer and Most Though Provoking Catagories. (I'm just getting out the vote!)

7:31 PM  
Blogger Bernadette said...

Happy Birthday, Big Dave's dad!

Guilt is always jealous.~John Ray (English naturalist and botanist, 1627-1705)

I'm narrowing down your jealousy to two things, Dave: GREEN and WHITE!

Vicki~Cow college: Them's fightin' words!!!

12:01 AM  
Blogger Teri said...

Dear Big Dave...just wanted to say that your comment on my Valentine post is one of the funniest ever. Very subtle and expertly presented...and I am still laughing.

P.S. Thank you for your support. Hope I can do a "back at you" someday. You deserve it. Is there an "All Male" blog awards. Bet that would be considered sexist. Ironic, isn't it?

9:39 AM  
Anonymous cassie-b said...

I would like to wish a very happy birthday to your Dad. First because I really hope he had a great birthday, and also because I want to keep my guild level down.

And happy anniversary to the happy couple.


10:55 AM  
Blogger Nankin said...

Happy birthday to your day. We're all entitled to forget once in awhile. Nice save. though.

4:44 PM  
Blogger Peter said...

Hi there, I’ve been relying on using Bloglines to do my daily rounds of the blogroll for a while now, it’s a very time saving method but it feels a bit impersonal at times, so it’s a hot Saturday, I’m gonna sit here and visit with everyone, It won’t feel any different to you but know that I chose to visit today instead of just answering an electronic reminder.
Have a good day.
Another lucky??? one with two comments.

5:25 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Happy belated birthday to your dad, Dave.

Great story. BTW, I've been sidetracked lately, but I wanted to say thanks for the warm wishes directed at my oldest's bunnies.

9:44 PM  
Blogger Fred said...

Happy Birthday, Dave's dad!

I'm guilty of the same offense. Several times.

8:21 PM  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi Dave ~~ Nice photo of your Dad. I do hope he had a great birthday.
Thanks very much for your comments and kind words about my blog. I try to find some variety of things to post. Take care, Regards, Merle.

4:30 AM  
Blogger schnoodlepooh said...

Well, maybe you made it up to him by posting this photo and your story. and now you will remember to put his birthday on your calendar!

10:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

happy birthday Victor!!!

6:08 PM  
Anonymous squirrel said...

Happy Belated Birthday to your dad!!! Great picture of a handsome fella!

8:31 AM  
Blogger LZ Blogger said...

Big Dave ~ Nice that you still have both of your folks. I lost mine both within a year of each other. I was feeling sorry for myself and then an old friend of mine told me that her dad died one morning of a heart attack and then that very same day (a few hours later) her mom died of a stroke. I told her that was both the SADDEST and SWEETEST thing I have ever heard! ~ jb///

7:52 AM  
Anonymous Maria said...

I imagine my kids have had some guilt feelings around the time of my birthday or Mother's day, but by golly, something always did arrive almost on time.

Happy birthday to your dad and I must say he raised a fine son and has much to be proud of.

It is a great photo of a parochial school boy. Think your dad and I need to get together to compare notes on our Catholic School experiences.

8:49 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...


Happy belated birthday to your handsome dad. Love his little comment up on top!

1:24 PM  
Blogger simply me said...

That was just the best thing to read with my first cup of coffee.
"Happy Belated Birthday to your Dad"
I am so very guilty of forgetting most or all birthdays, heck, anniversaries, baby births, Christmas
etc... Guilt is a wasted emotion that we put so much time into. I say if people know the good person you are and the times you are present and there for them - there is nothing wrong with a Belated Card (that's why hallmark features them). But if you are like me (guilt is there to stay -even though I am in the field of social work), then I will share with you a web site called Birthday Alarm- it reminds you of upcoming birthdays a week before and then a couple of days before again (of course it help to know people's birthdays). You email it to those you wish to remember - they fill in the information and

good luck.....

6:55 AM  
Anonymous Terri said...

I'm very behind in visiting here, so a VERY belated Happy Birthday to your Dad! Great photo.
And I think you redeemed yourself, Dave. (Maybe)

6:58 AM  
Anonymous dawn said...

Very heartwarming. I found myself tearing up when you wrote that "He explained that his favorite picture of himself as a youngster was missing. He and ma had searched for it, but it was nowhere to be found. So he thought I must have absconded with it, intending to feature it here on his birthday."
I could see him anticipating the Big Happy Birthday. I am glad that things turned out fine. And what a handsome lad.

7:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


10:52 PM  

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