Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Coleman Reports

Coleman reporting as ordered by the master. He is still occupied packing away the essentials of last week's holiday. That is "vay-cay-shun" to those of you in the colonies. I was in charge of the accommodations (tent) and the beverages (cooler).

Our latest sojourn into the *ahem* ferocious wilds of Silver Lake went much the same as in past years. That is, with the jeep ride in the sand dunes, the volleyball, miniature golf, a romp in the sand within the shadow of the Little Sable lighthouse, and of course, the beer. The master prefers to call it "Camper's cure-all." An example of his humor, I believe.

Since we were joined by two young ladies, girlfriends of two of our younger male campers, I was so hoping for more civility this year. On the contrary, conversation during the nightly board game became so loud that we were paid a visit by the campground ranger. Now, this was on the Fourth of July with loud explosions, both legal and not, filling the night air aroundabout. Speaks to something there. They should just let the master win. Then all would be well.

Oh, the joys I've seen in my many years harboring such fugitives from finishing school. I recall the master making reservations at a campground on Mt. Desert Island in Maine. The mosquitoes were so overjoyed at our arrival that they did a conga line as they entered my tent that evening.

Then there was the time the master, his brother the enforcer, their father and three members of the younger generation went camping on Manitou Island in upper Lake Michigan. Taking an eight-man tent to such an island was like driving an RV up Mt. Everest. A tad much perhaps.

When the boat from the mainland was unpacked and my tent was handed off, some wag remarked, "Who brought their golf clubs?" Then after hauling the tent several miles, the master and party neglected to secure the tent flies before departing to explore. Of course it rained. Of course there were puddles everywhere afterwards.

And, dear me, do not ask the enforcer how to safely unfasten a bungee cord that has been stretched taut and tied to a tree. Well, I suppose you could ask now. Experience can teach a very painful lesson.

Then there was the horrible outing in the Boundary Waters of Minnesota six years ago when my tent came within eight feet of being crushed by a falling tree during a storm one evening. How joyful it was to see the dawn the following morning.

So you have my report. As you can see, based on past circumstances, it was a successful holiday outing. I imagine my tent and cooler will be packed away for another year. Gracious, doing this more than once a year would leave a butler in tears.


Blogger Fred said...

Now I remember why I prefer a hotel and room service to the great outdoors.

6:04 AM  
Anonymous enforcer said...

It' a good thing you had enforcer there to carry the piano(tent).

7:39 AM  
Blogger Peter said...

Oh the joys of roughing it Dave, and with the butler in tow to carry the tent and cooler!!!

8:11 AM  
Anonymous kristy said...

What ho, Jeeves! Glad to see you survived. Welcome back. We go camping in two weeks time. Any chance the "master" would loan you out for my trip???

8:59 AM  
Blogger Me said...

Ah, to have a butler to carry the bags and make sarcastic remarks while on holiday... I am sooo jealous!

2:47 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

In other words, some people had fun, but we are still sorting out whom it was?

(That was a very nice comment you left on my site today, Dave. Thanks, on behalf of Monty.)

4:10 PM  
Anonymous bernadette said...

Is Blue Lake Fine Arts Camp on Silver Lake? I'm not sure because, as you might have expected, I spent my summers at Interlochen. Analogously, Interlochen is to Blue Lake as MSU is to U of M.

How I enjoyed the third person limited omniscient narration here. It disquised your superiority complex in a most subtle way. I'm too polite to inquire as to whether your last name is the same as the motel owner in Hitchcock's "Psycho".

I do have to say that you seem very astute about crabs, Dave!

6:03 PM  
Blogger Tim said...

I can actually imagine the mosquitoes in the conga line . . . "Cha cha cha, boom . . . cha cha cha . . . boom"

10:18 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

A park ranger was called out over a board game? What was the name of it? Sounds exciting. LOL

12:54 PM  
Blogger Nankin said...

Been there done that campimng in a tenet when a tornado blew through the area. Glad you're home safe.

12:56 PM  
Blogger Lucy Stern said...

Hey, I think I would rather like a large tent. It would give everyone a little more room. It sounds like a typical "family" vacation to me. We got rather loud when we were together in Galveston camping on the beach. We did have a wonderful time. Glad you are back in one piece. Enjoyed your rant, but I like the weather channel during the hurricane season.

9:22 PM  
Anonymous bernadette said...

Thanks for your magnanimous comments chez belle today, Dave. One thing I hate about quitting blogging is missing your posts and comments, but, alas, I must take leave awhile.

My best to your better half and your favorite son. May you find your inner SPARTAN before football season commences.

Also, if you find anything great at Vicki's garage sale, please hold onto it for me. GREEN is my favorite color.

10:03 AM  
Anonymous Terri said...

Ah, now I know why my idea of "roughing it" has always been a hotel without room service.
Not a camp girl here. But glad you're home safe and sound and I think it sounded like fun.

5:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


12:53 AM  

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