I'm A Decent Guy, Really

Checking my sitemeter, I've discovered more foreign visitors hitting on my blog here just lately. Web surfers from Spain, Italy, France, even Malaysia all drawn to my tiny humble corner of cyberspace. Why? It appears that they Google-searched the word "Swinger" and came up with my "Meet the Swinger" blog where I published an old Poloroid Swinger photo a week or so ago.

I doubt my blog is what they were looking for. One visitor from Italy actually spent several minutes browsing various pages of my blog, according to the sitemeter report. Did he happen to get hooked on the fascinating trivia and creative prose I disseminate? Or, as I figure, he probably didn't understand English at all, but since I mentioned the word "swinger" seven times, he was looking for smutty pictures.

What really shocked me is that I tracked one web surfer back to a blog search he did. Surfing "swinger" on this blog search produced well over a hundred thousand hits. I pulled up the first page of his search. Re-printed below are capsule summaries for some of the the hits. By the way, much of the language I certainly can't re-print here.

• ". . .get connected today with the most sizzling online swinger personals directory in the world and meet other married or committed couples who are ready to meet up with you." . . . in the world. Now I know why I'm getting those foreign visitors.
• "Real Swingers Pictures - Real Swinger Videos At Swingertales you can expect to enjoy a total immersion into the world of swingers. Swinging is not a hobby, it’sa lifestyle! Swingers do not hide their sexual dreams and desires from their . . . "
• "If it's the sexy, swinging lifestyle you want to go for but are intimidated because you think you're just an average Joe, seeing the content of All Swinger @#$%$#@ might just give you the impetus to be one."

Remember, I'm only re-printing the PG-rated portions. There was much worse. So when this guy searched "swinger', what did this blog search engine return as the best possible match out of a hundred thousand of these sick, sick, sick websites? Numero uno? BIG DAVE'S BLOG!

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I don't want that notoriety. Mine is a blog for the whole family, and not at all for those with a prurient interest. I can see I'm going to be shut out again by the censoring filter at the local library. It's happened before.

Of course, I dare not go up to the librarian and tell them that I've been "forbidden" to enter my own blog on their computer. They probably would have me take a seat somewhere. Then they'd call the pervert police faster than Superman could tie his shoe.

"That man over there, officer," the librarian would whisper. "He's trying to get into B-I-G D-A-V-E-S B-L-O-G."

"Big Dave's Blog!!," the investigator would retort. "That guy's the top-rated operator when the vice squad searches key words on the internet. Stay calm. I'm calling for back-up."

[Note: I am going camping for this week so will be out of cyber-touch for a while]