Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Oh Heather, I Was Bad

I was dreading the phone call I got last night. When the phone rang around dinnertime and Wendy handed the phone to me, I knew it was going to be Heather. And I knew talking to her wasn't going to be fun.

You see, Heather is what you might call a weight maintenance coach. About a year ago I went through this health screening at work at which time it was suggested a weight maintenance program might help me take off some of the excess pounds I've put on over the years.

It was free so . . . what the heck. I thought I'd give it a try. My first weight maintenance coach was Amy. She didn't last too long Maybe she was fired because I wasn't making much progress. I guess I could have lied and told her I lost a lot of weight. Since she was just a voice on the phone, how would she know? But I can't lie like that.

So Heather came next. Every month or two she would give me a call. And my weight would be about the same. So in a way, I figured she was successful. I was maintaining my weight after all. When I heard from her in October, she asked when would be a good time to call back. I suggested after the New Year since I had difficulty watching my weight around the holidays. Knowing that she was going to call first thing in January would give me incentive.

Well, that was the plan anyway. But you know what happens to the best laid plans when the holidays roll around, right? There's holiday parties here, a cookie there, a chocolate truffle back over here. To make it worse, the cold weather made me huddle in my Lazy Boy for warmth. Hibernating bears burn more calories in the winter. No more long bike rides or walks on the icy sidewalks.

Then came yesterday. I felt like I was going to confession. Yes, my weight was up. Yes, I remember I wanted to maintain. No, I didn't join the "holiday weight maintenance" challenge like I promised, but I had a good reason. They didn't offer it this year at my work.

I promised more exercise and less eating out. I said I would begin a stair-climbing program right away at home. Whatever penance I could do, I would do. She wasn't angry at me. It was more like how your mother might talk to you if she were disappointed in you. Oh, the guilt, the guilt.

When she noted that she would be on vacation and unavailable for the much of the next month, I saw a chance to change the subject.

"Going anywhere?" I asked.

"To Costa Rica. I used to live there," she said.

A-ha! An opening. I mentioned that my nephew just visited down there, then I asked when she lived there and for how long. I mentioned that it'll be a lot warmer down there than around here. But too soon she changed the subject back to me. Darn! I said to call me back in about a month. I promised that I would have better news next time.

Whew! Somebody get me a beer.


Blogger Lynilu said...

Just curious ..... Is your wife aware of your "let's change the subject" tactics?

5:55 PM  
Blogger Peter said...

Best of luck Dave!!!!

5:36 AM  
Blogger TechnoBabe said...

That better be a light beer.
Don't you just hate that, got caught in your own guilt. I do sympathize and I am grateful that I don't have anyone to check on me heaven help us if I did. I did drag the exercise machine back into the living room, that counts as exercise, right?

6:05 AM  
Anonymous cassie-b said...

good luck with that weight thing.

6:36 AM  
Blogger Big Dave T said...

LYNILU--After 30 years of marriage, there's not much I can do that would surprise my wife.

PETER--Thanks, Peter. I got on the scale this morning and it was a little better.

TECHNOBABE--I try to count anything as exercise, even deep breathing. We moved our exer-cycle down the basement. So far that's worked out since there's a TV down there we can watch while we cycle.

CASSIE--Thanks. I may be looking for that pumpkin soup recipe. That sounded pretty healthy, if I recall.

9:12 AM  
Blogger Carine said...

good luck dave-i'm on a cut back myself. fell/broke mt writing hand, i was exercising for my health

2:45 PM  
Anonymous Enforcer said...

Get down and give me 10 NOW!

5:29 AM  
Blogger Big Dave T said...

CARINE--Broken hand??!! That's terrible. I did that once myself, my writing hand as well. Brings back unpleasant memories.

ENFORCER--Oh OK. One, two, threeeeeee *pant, pant* . . . fourrrr . . . ugh . . . fivvvvvve.

Can I just give you five now and owe you the rest?

9:06 AM  
Anonymous bonnie said...

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Yoga who?
Yoga to try it; yoga tones and heals!
Alas, bliss and equanimity are what you will feels!


6:33 PM  
Blogger Nankin said...

We have these so called free programs at work. If you sign up for one and answer their questions honestly, next thing you know, you have 3 or 4 of them.

4:39 AM  
Blogger Big Dave T said...

BONNIE--Yeah, they offer yoga, zumba, fitball--all that kind of stuff here at work. I don't care what it says at the fantasy football website, they don't sound masculine enough for me. Now they've started offering kickboxing here too. That one sounds more intriguing.

NANKIN--I'm finding that out. This year we have to sign up for TWO such programs to get a financial reward from the company.

9:11 AM  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi Dave ~~ How awful to have someone checking up on you and your efforts to lose weight. It is bad enough just watching yourself. Good luck anyway.
The story of the boy wanting to buy an hour of his father;s time was a good story and teaches us something.

I think I saw that newsreader on
a bloopers show about the 8 inches of snow the weatherman promised.

Take care, egards, Merle.

12:17 AM  

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