Saturday, March 04, 2006

Blogging For Big Bucks

{While channel-surfing this week I happened across an infomercial that featured a young man selling his secrets on how to make mega-bucks selling and buying on E-Bay. So I thought, why not do a similar infomercial myself on blogging for bucks. Following is partial script draft . . . }

JAN CARLISLE (hostess): How many of you out there have heard of blogs? Pretty much everybody, right? And there are hundreds more created each day. Yet, I'll bet you didn't know that you can make millions of dollars by spending just a few minutes each day blogging. And this is because of an exciting new program called Big Dave's Blogging for Big Bucks. Right Big Dave?.

BIG DAVE: That's right, Jan. In my months of blogging on-line, I've picked up tips here and there which I'm offering to viewers in two CDs at the reduced price of $800.

JAN: Sounds like a great deal, Big Dave. But how do I know if this is right for me? I've never blogged before.

BIG DAVE: That's the beauty of my system, Jan. I start you from scratch. In the first day, we'll work on setting up an on-line template, one which fits your personal lifestyle and attitude. Within the first week, you'll be writing your first blog.

JAN: But when do I start making money? And how?

BIG DAVE: Jan, right now the best selling book in America is called Marley and Me, about a man and his dog. Everyone loves dogs. And most people own one, or a cat or something. All you have to do is write stories about your pets, kids, spouse, anything, even yourself! There are literally millions of people on-line across the world waiting to read the stories you put on your blog.

JAN: Wow! And people pay money to read your blog?

BIG DAVE: No. But with the right marketing tools, explained in my two CDs, you'll be earning money from ads, products and services that you can pitch along with your blog. The key is getting those computer surfers to your blog. I'll give you key phrases that when included in your blog make them sure to be picked up by all the major search engines. In fact, I can give you one key phrase right now that will increase the number of visitors to your site one thousandfold the day you put it in your blog.

(cut to testimonial) FLORENCE: I had my doubts about Big Dave's Blogging for Big Bucks. I've had a blog for a year with nearly no visitors. After reading Big Dave's ten-point system for success, I started my own on-line casino on my blog. The money just poured in. Last week, my husband and I closed a deal for one of the Florida Keys. We're going to build our retirement home there.

(cut to testimonial) JOHNNIE: I purchased Big Dave's Blogging for Big Bucks with money I earned on my paper route. Using Big Dave's secret tips, I started a blog about trading baseball cards. From that, I developed a site where kids could trade favorite baseball cards with eachother. I got a commission on each trade. Now I have my own Maserati and I'm building my own theme park. I couldn't have done it without Big Dave.

(cut to testimonial) LINZEE: There was a time I thought blogging was for nerds. But I saw all the money people were making with Big Dave's Blogging for Big Bucks. What did I have to lose? I started my own on-line business selling "Mudpuppies", galoshes for dogs. And now I have enough money to run for Congress. And win!

JAN: Wow, those stories are incredible, Big Dave.

DAVE: They sure are. There's no limit to the money you can make with my blogging methods.

JAN: And what if people aren't satisfied with your program?

DAVE: Jan, I'm so sure that viewers will make their pile with Blogging for Big Bucks that I'm not offering any guarantee whatsoever. That's how confident I am in my system.

JAN: Well, you've convinced me Big Dave. Let's put those telephone numbers up again for all our viewers.


Anonymous Terri said...

Oh my goodness.....I'm hooked and I'm sold!
Putting in my order for 1000 CD's of Big Dave's Blogging for Bucks. Paris here I come! Move over Oprah...Forbes is on their way out to interview me!

6:43 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

I want the sample "key phrase"....

11:40 AM  
Blogger Nankin said...

Did you hear about the guy in England who sold each dot on his computer screen for $1.00? If he can make a milliion, I'm sure Big Dave's Blogging for Bucks has to be a winner.

12:58 PM  
Anonymous kristy said...

Yes, sample key phrase, please. I know "Horse Sex Perforated Colin" worked for me, but perhaps you have even better phrases????

12:05 AM  
Anonymous Melissa said...

LOL very clever Dave! :)

3:41 AM  
Blogger Fred said...

Is Johnnie old enough to drive the Maserati, or is it just sitting in the driveway?

11:57 AM  
Blogger schnoodlepooh said...

Order a set for me, Big Dave. And the key phrase is .......

7:25 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

I'd like to put in my order too. LOL

9:35 AM  
Blogger bornfool said...

Are they available in three easy payments?

11:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, someone is making a pile...

1:27 PM  
Blogger Bernadette said...

I think I'll just remain rich in love, thanks all the same.

3:27 PM  
Blogger Peter said...

Want more?? you'll get 6 steak knives with each order received!!!!

4:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


1:08 AM  

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