Thursday, January 26, 2006

In The Doghouse, Darn Dog

I blame Doogie, our mutt. It's all his fault. But I am the one in the doghouse.

It happened one night this past weekend while my wife was out with her sister Denise. Coincidentally, the missus had commented earlier that day on how I did not seem overly worried about her coming home late on the sometimes treacherous winter roads. I assured her that her safety is my utmost concern.

Those words came back to bite me when she did arrive home shortly after 10 p.m. From our upstairs bedroom where I was watching TV, I heard a car door slam and a muffled voice. It was Wendy, no doubt. Doogie sprang from his own spot on the bed and barked.

I detected some noise at the door. Obviously, Wendy was letting herself in. More barking from Doog. I turned up the TV. "Go check it out! It's ma," I scolded Doogie.

Well, our dog is a safety first kind of guard dog who would call for back-up if he spotted a mouse. Every couple of steps he descended, he would follow with a fusillade of barks. Eventually he made it downstairs, still barking. Crazy mutt, I thought. My wife must have made a pit stop at the bathroom and Doogie still wasn't aware that all was well.

But it wasn't. As I lie on the bed, the phone on the nightstand rang. Who could that be at this hour, I thought?

"Dave??" came the very clear puzzled voice of my sister-in-law when I answered.

"Denise??" I answered, just as puzzled.

"I have your wife here. We're locked out of the house."

So I quickly descended the stairs, cordless phone in hand, and opened the front door to face my sister-in-law, cell phone in hand, standing on the other side of the storm door, with Wendy.

"Hea, how's it going!" I called into the phone, trying to inject some levity into our situation. They were not amused, however.

I was soon taken to task. No, I didn't remember that I had taken Wendy's keys earlier. No, I didn't hear the doorbell cause the dog was barking. Yes, I do worry about her when it's late. No, I don't know why I locked every outside door. No, I wasn't hiding my girlfriend in the closet.

Eventually, I remembered the joke that asks who would you let in the door first when both your dog and wife are barking. Punchline: It's up to you, but the dog will stop barking once you let him in.

There's a lot of truth in humor . . . sigh.


Blogger Me1issa said...

I've had that happen to me before. My husband likes to go to bed early. So if I'm out late I ask him to wait up for me, but generally he doesn't. Once I went out with a friend, left my keys at home, left my phone at home...when I got home he didn't even bother to turn the light on for me, the door was locked, the house was completely dark, and the doorbell was busted. I knocked but he didn't here it. I actually had to go around to the side of the house where the bedroom was and knock on the window. OH that woke up him! He reared up like he had been bit by a snake was posed to attack. I hissed "It's just me you big oaf, go open the freakin door!"

12:04 PM  
Blogger Fred said...

Good one. I can sleep through anything. And I really mean anything. The Missus would have to break in through a window if this happened to me.

1:56 PM  
Blogger Margaret said...

I have locked my husband out of the house too;if only he would stay out of the garage, it wouldn't happen. I blame him!

4:48 PM  
Anonymous Maria said...

A wonderful story. I have a doxie and a yorkie and both think they are rotweillers when it comes to someone at the front door.

5:47 PM  
Anonymous bonnie said...

Wendy is a saint, as I expected.

7:55 PM  
Blogger Lucy Stern said...

Typical man! How come you took her key? Ha Ha!

9:13 PM  
Blogger Peter said...

I think you may have got out of that lightly Dave, I would say no more!!

4:55 AM  
Blogger bornfool said...

Some women can lose their sense of humor so quickly.

5:21 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Ah ha! LOL. Another husband has his wife's keys! LOL.

Seriously Dave, that was a great story.

7:00 AM  
Blogger Trucker Bob said...

That was funny, especially the "safety-first" dog.

As to the girl-friend in the closet, is there more to this story? ;-)

7:59 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Let's see: This was written on Jan. 26. I figure Wendy will stop barking along about Feb. 2.

3:27 PM  
Blogger schnoodlepooh said...

Good story and great punchline. You do have some good stories, Big Dave. I enjoy reading them. Good for Doogie! He was trying to tell you something. He's a smart dog. And he knows when to stop barking too! Good dog.

11:10 PM  
Anonymous Kristy said... very careful, Dave! The other thing about dogs is that they are far more forgiving than wives too...!

1:59 AM  
Blogger poopie said...

Good one Dave. You and Doogie better start shopping for Valentine's Day gifts NOW.

7:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe if you let the dog win a wrestling match now and then, he wouldn't be such a chicken.

6:34 AM  
Anonymous Terri said...

Oh,'m definitely adding you to my blog roll.
I'm still laughing over this one...poor dog was only doing his duty and poor wifey was locked out. Have you moved out of that dog house yet?

7:14 AM  
Anonymous Big Dave said...

This was an interesting read Big Dave T
i am also a Big Dave in the education field. but in Scotland

Good night and good luck.

2:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


12:42 AM  

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