Sunday, February 12, 2006

Superbowl, Hoss And Ebay

Superbowl hype clouded my better judgment. The Jim Beam and cola didn't help either. The big game was a couple hours off when the in-laws arrived. Right away, I showed my teen-aged nephew Mike an Ebay website where they were auctioning off hand-painted plaster footballs autographed by gridiron celebrities.

Mike, who decorates his room with all things sports, was awestruck. Bids ran as high as $400 for a football signed by former Detroit Lion Barry Sanders. Another football, painted maize 'n blue, was signed by ex-Wolverine superstar Dan Dierdorf. Didn't see any Michigan State souvenir balls, but this was an official NFL sanctioned event with proceeds going to charity. They needed big money draws.

There were some footballs where bidding was less than $50. That included a black and gold colored football signed by St. Louis Rams Isaac Bruce. Mike wanted it. He asked his dad, who has an Ebay account. Dad sad no, emphatically.

Uncle Dave to the rescue. What uncle hasn't undermined parental authority at one time or another? I had an Ebay sign-on I had never used. Found it buried in some e-mail as auction time was waning. Mike said he was good for the money.

With less than a half hour to go, adrenaline rushing, Jim Beam urging me on, I bid $41. Bingo! We were high bidder as the auction ended. Instantly, I received an invoice from E-Bay addressed to, uh, oops. I had forgotten that when I set up that E-Bay account, paranoid of theft identity, I was not totally accurate with my information.

No worries. To avoid the E-Bay cops, I e-mailed the seller, stating I would pay cash in person and take the football with me since the seller had a local outlet. No soap. All footballs were being shipped via UPS. Only payment via something called "pay pal" was being accepted.

Pay pal? What the hang is that? It sounds like a drinking buddy that you bring along to the bars because you know he will pick up the tab after he's had a few. What could I do? Mike was counting on me. I couldn't sleep. And when I did sleep I dreamt nervously.

In my dream, they were auctioning a double-hulled, twelve-man racing canoe. Fellow blogger Hoss was nearby and pronounced it a good buy so I bought it. Hoss never lies. While I tried to acquire the money to pay for it, I wondered where I possibly could store it. Never mind that I didn't know twelve people who canoed (and NOBODY that raced canoes).

The morning after that dream I received an e-mail from the seller. He would take a money order afterall. Great! I dropped it off with instructions to deliver it to my nephew. If they would have delivered it to the address I had originally given E-Bay, it looked like it would have ended up at a University of Michigan fraternity.

"Hea, Rich. Look what we just got. Go deep!"

But just in case, I corrected all the information in my E-Bay user account. With all the effort I had invested and with the stress I had endured, I decided to put in half the purchase money and share the SuperBowl souvenir with my nephew. But that didn't fly with Mike. No sharing.

What? I sent an e-mail to his mother. "Could I at least touch it then?"

She responded, "Don't count on being able to touch it. He's
protective of his football stuff ."



Anonymous Melissa said...

You never used Pay Pal? OMG! It is pretty fabulous. I use it all the time. Even my domain hosting subscription is set up on Pay Pal. LOL

Happy Valentine's Day to you and yours!

9:39 AM  
Anonymous kristy said...

I've gotten in trouble on eBay myself. In my case, the trouble comes because I have an eBay account, a PayPal account, and I knew all too well EXACTLY how to use both of them to the most economically lethal advantage. Some things it's better not to know.

10:02 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

It was not a canoe, you dope. It was a shell, and get your butt over here: We're racing the Willamette University women this afternoon at 3 p.m. I got 10 immigrants to take up the rest of the oars, since they didn't have anything to do except wait around for their driver's licenses.

1:04 PM  
Blogger Fred said...

I'm glad there are no uncles like you around my kids. :)

And, stay away from Jim. He always give me a headache.

3:09 PM  
Blogger Bernadette said...


Say, I heard that the Detroit police department did such a great job of fighting crime over the Super Bowl weekend that only one crime was reported - the SEAHAWKS were robbed!

Your second paragraph needs your better half's editing expertise, Dave. I always coveted a MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY football signed by Andre Risen, until he was thrown in jail.

3:25 PM  
Blogger Lucy Stern said...

Oh Uncle Bruce, It's amazing what a little Jim Beam will do to your head. Hope you learned a lesson here. I love shopping on Ebay, but I don't like Pay Pal so I only purchase something that I can pay for ith a money order. I don't get into credit card debt and I don't overspend that way....

3:59 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Pay pal is the way to IF you have funds in the paypal account. My bank would charg me $50 to transfer $18 into my account. Go figure.

4:36 PM  
Blogger Peter said...

Well Dave, he may let you look at it??
I liked your holtiesmouse comment BTW.

5:41 PM  
Anonymous Maria said...

I love the thrill of bidding on Ebay too much so I am restricting myself to a few times a year. I find it easier just to pay by check or by my Visa Card rather than use Pay Pal.
You had me laughing as I read this. Enjoyed it very much. What a great uncle you are.
Now I have to go to Holties House to see what your mouse comment was.

4:28 PM  
Blogger poopie said...

But of course Hoss never lies...he only stretches the truth until it pops ;)

10:35 AM  
Blogger WordWhiz said...

Funny! I wish I'd had an Uncle Dave!

6:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


12:45 AM  

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