They're Using Psychology

I remember the time my wife and I went to a weekend marriage retreat in Flint a half-dozen years ago, a marriage-strengthening exercise pitched during sermon at weekly mass. Convincing my wife to go, I said it would be an adventure.

The first night we sat in a classroom with about twenty other couples as the leaders of the retreat waited for us to open up and discuss issues in our marriage. They stressed that nobody was required to speak up. But then they sat there and waited . . . and waited . . . and waited with just faint background music playing. Finally, someone broke the tension by speaking out. I don't remember what was said or what the leader's response was. All I remember is that more silence followed as they waited, waited, waited for somebody else to open up. Many did. The psychology worked.

I hated it. Don't you hate it when somebody tries to "use psychology" on you? Certainly if you've ever been to a timeshare presentation or heard the pitch of a life insurance salesman, you know what I mean.

I had my latest experience with "psychology" this past week. My employer had offered $100 to each employee who completed a wellness exam that included height, weight, waistline, cholesterol, blood pressure and glucose measurements. Tax free money? That type of psychology will work on me every time.

But Big Dave here knew he was in trouble the moment he walked into the examining area. The wellness exam staff were thinner than models. If they had been standing sideways towards me, I might not have seen them at all. The psychology was starting already.

I liked the slick psychological move employed by the young medical assistant doing the fingerstick to draw my blood. When she asked what finger I wanted pricked, I held out my pinkie. She grabbed it, then complained that she didn't like doing that finger. When I asked why, she started explaining and while I was listening, POW, she stabbed me. Ah, the psychological power of distraction.

After the tests and measurements, they took me into the corner for the results. Holy cow! Not good. They had charts where they could point to the average man my age, then where I measured up on that scale. Man, why didn't I buy life insurance when they guy told me to. I felt like I was living on borrowed time unless I exercised more, changed my eating habits and eliminated any and all sources of stress in my life.

*Sigh* I hate psychology. At least it cheers me up to know my fav team, the Michigan Wolverines, are going to the NCAA basketball tournament after a several year absence. Then again, it's going to stress me out as I watch their games. Maybe I'll use a little psychology on myself and cheer for their cross-state rivals Michigan State instead. If they lose, it won't kill me (pun intended).