Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Ask The Life Coach

Checking my sitemeter recently, I discovered that somebody had stumbled across my blog by Googling the phrase, “If there is a tree branch impaled in somebody, what should I do?” This is intriguing, particularly coming not long after someone else had discovered my blog by Googling, “How far can I push my liver?”

Why ask Big Dave? Then it came to me . . . these people probably don’t need this particular question answered. Well, yes they do, but they need something even more important. They need a “life coach.” They need somebody to guide them through not only the complex questions of our existence here on earth, but for everyday common sense questions as well.

That’s what a “life coach does, right? Gives sound advice to those in need. I can do that. Through my years as son and father, I’ve come up with many helpful maxims. Among them:

---It’s always darkest before the tornado
---Get out of stocks now
---When in doubt, vote Democrat
---Tomorrow is the greatest of life's healers.

Now some of you may not agree with all of these maxims, but I thought becoming a life coach might be worth investigating. And what I found out was that this is one of the fastest-growing home businesses in this country. All right! I’m all for staying at home and getting paid for it.

So I went to this website where I took a ten-question quiz to determine whether I would make a good life coach. I scored 36 out of 50, after which the website questioned whether being a life coach was right for me. But they offered to sell me a book that would put me on the path to success in my newly chosen career. I’m mulling it over.

In the meantime, let me start out by answering the question at the top of my blog, just in case that web surfer comes back here. What should you do if you should encounter someone impaled by a tree branch?

Call 9-1-1.

Let me know where to send the bill.


Blogger Betty said...

Has anyone started an internet life coaching business yet? The thought of you becoming a life coach made me wonder that. That way you don't even have to keep your house presentable. Then again, life coaches have to be living perfect lives themselves, don't they, which means the house has to be presentable.

It's been a long day.


8:45 PM  
Blogger Carine said...

I can see it now Dave, You could run a google adsense on my site and make millions! LOL
Otherwise I think your advice to the impaled victim of a tree is dead on...

8:55 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Sorry, Dave, but you won't cut it as a "life coach." See, what you do FIRST with the person who is impaled by a tree branch is: Take his picture for your blog!

Let me know where I can get the forms to sign up as a life coach.

5:30 PM  
Blogger Lucy Stern said...

Well, I know one thing for sure, I'm too busy to be a life coach. I am not sure I would be a good subject for you Dave......Good luck with your new business, don't forget to blog about your patients.....lol.

11:35 PM  
Anonymous Deb said...

You'd be a great coach Dave!

5:24 AM  
Blogger Kacey said...

You couldn't be my life coach, beause I've already lived most of it and you still have a long way to go. About being impaled of a tree limb and other such wonderful topics being googled--- it gives me the Willies to see what people google and come up with my blog. Anything people say on your comments can also send people flocking to your place. Like, if I said, "Sex runs rampant in maternity wards --- both male and female" --- you would get a bunch of porn googles! Whoops! Looks like I did say that. Also, people google "images" and apparently take your pictures along with them -- why would someone want a picture of my three little grandsons with their dad? That freaks me out! The Internet is a wild and crazy place! Oh, no --- now, you are going to get even more goofy types looking for wild and crazy!

6:34 AM  
Blogger Big Dave T said...

BETTY--I don't think life coaches have to lead perfect lives. As the saying goes, those who can't do, coach.
CARINE--I've seen some pretty strange Google adsense ads on your site. Mine would fit right in.
HOSS--When I got the leads on becoming a life coach, I thought of you right away. Good way to make your pile there. But I've got firsties.
KACEY--The internet IS scary. Checking my sitemeter today, I discovered somebody stumbling across my blog by searching "uncashed checks, ethics." What was scary is that this hit came from some government computer in Maine!

11:39 AM  
Anonymous cassie-b said...

If I ever feel the need for a life coach, I'll let you know. And I agree with the 911 call

4:45 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

WOW! You scored 36 out of 50 on the 10 question quiz on whether you can be a good life coach. You have the makings of a great coach. All you need to do is attend our Internet Coach Training School (for a measly $5,362.36 discounted tuition) for our rigorous 2.56 week home study course, and PRESTO you are one! Then you can hang your shingle from your bathroom and coach away! Another $263.84 will get you an authorized coaching credential as a Highly Certified Internet Life Coach (HCILC) that you paste on your bedroom wall. Operators standing by.

3:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


10:38 PM  

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