Volga Spartan

Our youngest son is doing extra duty in the classrooms of Russia this spring, participating in one of Michigan State University’s study abroad programs. We felt that since his degree program involves international relations, it might be worth a couple added years paying back student loans to expose him to at least one other culture than that of East Lansing frat rat.

This does worry my wife Wendy and I some. Scott seems to have some talent for finding trouble. Russia is not a place to be doing that. It didn’t help when Scott tried to convince us that it was well nigh impossible for a student to get into trouble in a foreign country. Think he was confused about diplomatic immunity. He also insisted it was Russian tradition for students to down a shot of vodka before heading out to class.

And it certainly didn’t assuage our fears when we learned Scott listed his slightly older brother as his official emergency contact. This is the same brother who lost his only cell phone in a bar a couple months ago. A good Samaritan returned it about a week later.

What happens if Scott downs too many vodka shots and engages in a favorite Michigan State pyrotechnic activity, couch-burning, at Lenin’s Tomb? If the U.S. Consulate contacts Scott’s brother Greg to report that Scott was resting rather uncomfortably in some Soviet gulag, Greg most likely would respond with “awesome” or perhaps “hilarious.” Those being a couple of his favorite words of late.

Well, we did our best to send him off on the right note. Scott will be staying with a host family in Russia. Tradition dictates that he bring the family a gift made in America. My parents suggested that we send a jar of Nutella as a token gift (the label on the jar says it’s made in Canada-close enough). Nutella, a creamy mixture of nuts and chocolate, is big in Europe and in Russia also, we presume.

Scott balked at the idea, thinking it might be demeaning to be bringing his host family food, as if to say they don’t have enough to eat in Russia. Besides, his Russian was not fluent enough to translate a gift of Nutella. It might come out for example, “My grandparents said, ‘Eat this!’” That does lose something in translation, making Scott sound like the witch in Snow White.

I suggested that he present the Nutella as “a gift from your grandparents.” That seemed to work better. Just to be on the safe side, Scott also took some Detroit Tiger glassware.

So Scott has been in Russia for a week now, finding his command of the language to be good enough for a first-time visitor. He did complain that at least one Russian had shown a bad attitude in dealing with him. Scott has trouble handling those types of people and can be emotionally candid expressing his feelings in such situations.. I just hope he can be patient and keep his wits about him for another six weeks.

Condoleeza Rice just returned from Moscow, attempting to mend some fences as East-West relations have grown tense lately. I sure don’t need our family contributing to a new Cold War