Blog, by B.D. Rowling

This week marks the climax of my year-long infatuation with Ticketmaster. After I discovered how easy it was to acquire sporting event tickets on-line, I booked two seats to the Paul McCartney concert at Auburn Hills this weekend. However, Ticketmaster doesn’t want the relationship to end. I’ve been receiving weekly e-mails from them with a list of upcoming events that they’re sure I don’t want to miss.

There’s a band called Lez Zeppelin. That’s not a typo. I guess they don’t mind if you confuse them with Led Zeppelin. Here’s another act: Australian Pink Floyd. And another: The Waylin’ Jennies. Hmmmmm, do I see a pattern here? How about the Glenn Miller Orchestra? Hea, I heard that Glenn could really kick out the jams. But he died 60 years ago. If this is the same band, I’m sure the musicians are a little past it. An eighty-plus trombone player just isn’t going to hit those high notes the same way. What next? Beethoven’s String Ensemble?

But wait! Why didn’t I think of this before? Why try to climb the ladder to literary success as Big Dave? Wouldn’t it be easier if I garnered a little name recognition first? Maybe I should change my name to Big Dave Hemingway. Or how about David Charles Dickens. Ah, I’ve got it. B.D. (Big Dave) Rowling.

I’m halfway to the New York Times best seller list.