Tuesday, September 20, 2005

The Mouse Retorts

I heard that Big Dave was talking about me. Me, the mouse. He actually had the gall to call me a pet? I’ve felt as wanted here as a cockroach in a French restaurant. It was their number two son who bought me the first year he was at Michigan State. He wanted companionship. Yeah, right. Like I’m going to roll over, speak and snuggle on his lap. Once he found out I eat food that costs dough, I was dropped like a dirty sock.

So the other son had me for a while at Central Michigan University. He had an apartment with another pet, a lizard. Great big monster. Once they put me and the lizard in the same cage to see what would happen. Remember the scene in Jurassic Park where the little girl turns around to see a Tyrannosaurus Rex towering over her? That’s what it felt like to me. Yeah, this is a pet-loving family all right.

Finally, the other son tired of me and I came here. Notice that I didn’t call here home. That’s because I’m bustin’ out of the joint and finding my own place. I did bust out once in the middle of the night. Laid low underneath a sofa while I plotted my break from the big house. But they nabbed me. Big Dave did anyway. His wife stayed upstairs. After that, she put lots of twist ties on my cage door. And she complains that I’m living way past my life expectancy.

Hea, I’m no hamster. I’m going to be around a while. Check out the picture. I’m outliving the cage! Gotta love it. Duct tape and plastic fasteners aren’t going to hold me forever. In the meantime, I’m learning the ropes. I see the dog beg for treats. He sits, he lies, he flops on command. Now me, I just sit and stare at the missus with my beady, black eyes. Pretty soon I hear, "That mouse is looking at me. Give him something." That’s how I get my pay-off, a piece cheese or a peanut butter cracker.

So life is okay for now. But once I decide I’m blowing this popsickle joint, watch out. You might find me curled up in your sock drawer. Or just skittering across the hallway floor in the middle of the night. Mickey mouse I’m not.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent, Eugene.

10:58 AM  
Blogger poopie said...

Now this is my kinda humor! Thanks for the laugh Big Dave ;)

11:40 AM  
Blogger schnoodlepooh said...

Awwww, I like that little mousey. Does he have a name? You better give him some extra treats and hugs for being the star of your blog today.

1:17 PM  
Blogger Big Mo said...

Big Dave it sound like the time your mouse spent at MSU wore off on him. Or was it hanging around your sons??? Good Luck Mouse

2:00 PM  
Blogger AP3 said...

That's a cute little mouse you got there!

6:36 PM  
Blogger Bernadette said...

Cute post, Big Dave!

But I have questions:

1. Is he a Spartan mouse?
2. If so, why isn't he bragging on the recent victory over the Fighting Irish? 3. Did you have any calls regarding the need for bail money after the game (5TH VICTORY IN A ROW AGAINST ND FOR MSU)?
4. Why aren't you bragging on the Wolverines big win against the mighty Ypsi today?

9:27 PM  
Blogger bornfool said...

Funny stuff.
Mr. Mouse, you better stay put. They got mousetraps out in the real world, and not the live humane ones either.

6:03 AM  
Blogger WordWhiz said...

Yeah, he better stay away from my house! I've got those mouse pellets to get rid of the rodents!!

I read what you said about me over at Hoss's place today. I'm plotting my revenge. Just thought you should know.


6:17 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Your house looks like the grille offa some pimp ride. Have you no class, Mouse?

6:50 AM  
Blogger Big Dave T said...

For Bonnie--

Yes, he's a Spartan mouse. He wasn't doing any bragging after MSU's victory over Notre Dame but we caught him with a matchstick in his mouth running for the sofa.

We Wolverines are used to wins, both big and small. We celebrate quietly. But I can see why you Spartans would celebrate. You blow a 21-point lead and STILL don't choke. Very UnSpartanlike. Somewhere along the season they will break your hearts, though. They are Michigan State Spartans, after all.


I know you you are (and I know what you did).

2:23 PM  
Blogger Fred said...

Here via AP3. Nice blog - glad to meet another blogger in the education field.

Off I go to read a few posts. I'll check in every so often if it's OK with you.

6:28 PM  
Blogger Gypsybobocowgirl said...

Dave, are you sure the mouse is still in the cage? Cause I think I ran into him while I was weeding flower beds today.

8:31 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

cute story and cute mouse!

2:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


12:56 AM  

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