To Beat The Heat

I’ve used to wonder why news reports urged people to “check on the elderly” during heat waves. But now that I’m over 55, I can see why. The heat seems to bother me more and more each year.

This past weekend I thought we would catch a break as the wife and I joined another family in heading over to Lake Michigan. Lots of beach, lots of water—the best recipe for beating the heat.

So as temperatures started to cook on Saturday, we made our way to MacWoods Dune Rides by Silver Lake, a stone's throw from Lake Michigan. It was unusually busy that day and they said we would have to wait 40 minutes for our tour, so we walked next door to the ice cream stand. Cooled us off some in the mid-day heat.

I was looking forward to the part of the dune ride where they stop at Lake Michigan and let passengers out to wade into the surf, take pictures, etc. Since we take this ride every year, we know what to expect. They also skim the shoreline with the scooter, spraying passengers with a little bit of lake water. Ahhhhh, couldn’t wait. When we boarded, my brother-in-law made sure to take the seat that would expose him to the great soaking. Smart fellow.

But as soon as we were all strapped in, our tour guide announced that we wouldn’t be going down to Lake Michigan this time because the endangered Piping Plover was nesting there.

WHAT??!!! Piping plover?? Is she making this up? This name sounds made up. Is a piping plover a cousin to the rocking rover?

Instead of getting soaked, we were baked. My brother-in-law in particular got a good sandblasting in his end seat. The driver said to make up for stopping lakeside, we would stop atop the highest sand dune where we could all run down and climb up again. WHAT?? In 90-degree heat? I can see this same cruel tour driver out in the southwest somewhere saying sadistically, “We’re not going down to the Colorado River today, but instead we’re going to head out to Death Valley where we’re all going to participate in some exciting sack races.”

What made it worse was when we made our aforementioned scheduled stop atop razorback dune, it was right above Silver Lake. All right!! Salvation. But our tour guide said we could run down the dune, but couldn’t go in the water. WHAT??!! Are the piping plovers bathing there or something?

What made it even more worse was that after we had taken our tour through the hot, sandy landscape, Wendy and I wanted to head over to Silver Lake State Park where we knew we COULD go in the water. But when we got there, “LOT FULL.” The attendant said to try back again in a couple hours (he had to be a relative of that tour guide).

So we tried the park by the lighthouse right on Lake Michigan. “LOT FULL.” How about the park by the off-road vehicle area? No beach there but at least they had shade. “LOT FULL.” Up to Pentwater where there was another State Park. “LOT FULL.” Finally, up to Ludington where we found an air conditioned restaurant. Afterwards, we passed some excitement as some elderly lady had collapsed from the heat on a downtown sidewalk. A passerby was giving her water.

New law. Only those 55 and over may use state parks when the temperature is above 80 degrees. And dune ride operators must post any variations in their route at the ticket counter.