Halloween Epitaphs

I noticed a few people searching on the internet for "funny epitaphs" had somehow come across my blog, though I didn't have any epitaphs, funny or otherwise, at the time.

Anyway, if they search again, and since it's Halloween, I thought I would try to come up with some on my own. I'm not really a poet, but I have a rhyming dictionary. Might as well get my money's worth out of it.

First, a classic funny epitaph that maybe you're familiar with. They say you'll find it at Boot Hill cemetary somewhere out west:

Here lies Lester Moore: Four slugs from a .44: No Les No More. ...

And here's a few I concocted myself.

Here lies Molly our pet hen
Our children's beloved best friend.
As her bones were buried I called her a good chicken,
Just didn't let on I meant finger lickin'.

Tommy Cat
2006-2009

He always ate a full platter
It was hard to find a cat fatter
But on the road with no pep,
The car he couldn't sidestep,
Then you never saw a cat flatter

There was an old man named Bart
Who kept from his family his bad heart,
When came his birthday and all yelled "Surprise!"
And that's how he met his demise.

Aladin
He flew through the air on his carpet
But takeoffs he wasn't too sharp at
With his lack of skill
Came a horrible spill
Now he's traded his rug for a harpette.

Mother Goose
A Safari she had booked,
Not knowing it was the NRA
She should have stayed away
For now her goose is cooked.

Happy Halloween everyone.