Monday, November 14, 2005

You Are Your Bumper Sticker

Last week I noticed a sign on a co-worker’s door that said, "Gone for Jury Duty." So when she returned, I asked her how it went. She said she wasn’t picked for the jury--a federal civil rights case--but she still found the process enlightening. For example, she said in winnowing out those prospective jurors with prejudices, a number of questions were asked about what newspapers they read and what radio stations they listened to. But the judge also wanted to know if potential jurors had any bumper stickers on their cars and what those stickers said.

So I wondered about that. Although most cars with bumper stickers have rather innocuous messages, like Vote for So-and-So or Save The Whales, there could be some messages that a surprised jury pool applicant might be shy about repeating. I browsed some bumper snickers and came up with these candidates:

"Criminal lawyer" is a redundancy.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

I have PMS and a Gun. Any questions?

Lawyers have feelings too, allegedly.

Support a Lawyer, Become a Doctor

Don't Make Me Mad, I'm running out of places to hide bodies.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a moving vehicle.

Only lawyers get to be judges and that’s the (f)law.

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets.

Here’s the one that I want:

Upon the advice of my attorney, this bumper sticker will make no statement.


Blogger poopie said...

...and what about t-shirts ;) I've seen some doozies on people's bodies!

12:28 PM  
Blogger Peter said...

I suppose the thing started in court with a judge asking about the bumper stickers but .... do you have a problem with lawyers 6 out of 11 stickers!!!

6:03 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

99% of the lawyers will give the rest of them a bad name...

9:24 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Love the stickers. I like the ones that say

"If you can read this. . . THEN YOU'RE FOLLOWING TOO DARN CLOSE!"

10:54 AM  
Blogger WordWhiz said...

These are GREAT! And in all seriousness, jury duty is pretty interesting. It's something everyone should try to do...rather than avoid.

8:02 PM  
Blogger Gypsybobocowgirl said...

I can't get picked for jury duty to save my life...and I don't have any bumper stickers! What's up with that?

9:51 PM  
Blogger Cranky Shannon said...

bumper sticker on my old car: stupidity should be painful."

i stand by that.

4:52 PM  
Blogger Nankin said...

Dave, I have no bumper stickers and have been summoned three times in the last ten years. I served on two jurys and swore the next time I was going to tell them I was the most prejudice SOB on the face of the Earth.

Both cases were nothing but an abuse of the criminal system. 13 days for a DWI??? Get real.

6:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


1:11 AM  

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