Bet Lance Never Saw This

During our annual camping trip to Lake Michigan this summer, I biked part of the Hart to Montague rail trail, a 20-mile stretch of old railway that has been paved for pedestrian and non-motorized cycle traffic. While riding through forests, small towns and farmland I came across a series of exercise stations like the one pictured. That’s a chin-up bar here. I think I did chin-ups back in junior high school. Well, tried to. Most of the other exercise stations were similar with parallel bars, incline sit-up apparatus and a half-dozen other set-ups along a short stretch of trail.

While on this trail, I passed a few folks mostly about my age. Some older. Now we all have a respite from peddling the long miles in the hot sun. I can envision some grandmotherly type pulling her bike off to the side of the trail to do some chin-ups, followed by a few flysprings over the high bar. And I can see some kid taking a break from his video games, riding over so he can perform a handstand on the parallel bars before a double flip, half twist dismount. Actually, none of the exercise stations were being used when I passed. But I think this could catch on.

Imagine these types of exercise parks at rest stops along the interstate. . . truckers taking breaks from the long road to do body toning and cartwheels . . . strangers spotting eachother as they take turns on the uneven parallel bars . . . rambunctious kids pirouetting gracefully across the balance beam. It’d put places like Vic Tanny and Curves out of business. But it’d be a boon to the corporations that produce that talcum powder gymnasts put on their hands. That could be sold in vending machines along with the Twinkies and Snickers.

Just remember when you start seeing these monkey bars springing up at rest areas from coast to coast, you heard it here first.