Coaching Rehab

    My wife has suffered with a painfully arthritic knee for many, many years. Radiological tests showed that her left knee had almost zero mobility. But with technological advances in medicine, we have reached what one physician's assistant termed, “The golden age of joint replacement.” Earlier this month my wife took the plunge and had her knee replaced.

    While she was recuperating at home, curbing her pain by wearing a nerve block pump and only taking brief steps with the aid of a walker, my responsibilities increased. I grew more adept at using the washer and dryer, and prepared a few meals on our outdoor Weber grill. Wendy's never trusted me in the kitchen beyond making tuna noodle and that was a casserole she had no desire for. That was fine as I had no desire to learn to become a chef.

    Another assignment was to be her “coach.” I'm not sure exactly what entailed. I did read some of the literature Wendy was given to prepare her for the procedure but I have a terrible short term memory for details. Anyway I figured what does a coach do but offer encouragement and push her to rehab her knee to get better.

    “Did you do your exercises?” I asked her once. She said icily that she had already done her required exercises and had told me so hours ago. Again, a coach with short term memory issues probably isn't going to make the pros. I know I won't.

    I do feel somewhat responsible for her predicament. When we took a second honeymoon at the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island for our 25^th anniversary almost 20 years ago, I insisted we play tennis on their grass court. I'd never played tennis on a grass court and Wendy rarely played tennis at all. After just a few minutes, she came up lame, limping on her injured knee. Mackinac Island is famous for allowing travel only on horses and bikes, no motor vehicles being permitted. I suspect if one of the local horses had come up similarly lame, they would have shot him on the spot.

    Then there was a hike I suggested in the Smoky Mountains years afterwards where she slipped and fell on the same knee, bruising it badly. Most recently, while vacationing in Utah, I signed us up for a sunset jeep ride in the mountains, not realizing it was on a trail infamously entitled, “Hell's Revenge.” Wendy barely walked the rest of our trip out west.

    But, honestly, my only have experience coaching is with youth soccer when my boys were young. Ironically, soccer and football are two sports that Wendy's orthopedic surgeon said she should never attempt again.

    Wait a minute. I remember that TV series The Bionic Woman. Wasn't the tagline for that show “faster, better, stronger” when they rebuilt her legs? Can you imagine how great the bionic woman would be on the soccer field? Now Wendy has a similarly reconstructed knee.

    Maybe my coaching experience may come in handy yet.