Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Simon Says (Guest Blog)

Dat Big Dave and his pooch was dissin' me I hear, makin’ me sound uncivilized and all. Since BD’s recuperatin' after a family re-union up north, I'm gonna say a few things in my defense. By the way, this is Simon, Boston Terrier owned by Big Dave's son Greg and his fiance Lindsay.

True, I killed a rabbit. You heard about bein' in the wrong place at the wrong time? Dat was him. Now for those who don't know nuthin' 'bout Boston Terriers, let me quote from Wikipedia about the breed: "if properly socialized, (Boston Terriers) get along well with children, the elderly, other canines, and non-canine pets." Doesn't say nuthin' there about chumin' around with stray rabbits.

True, I dug up Big Dave’s plant that was sittin' on a window sill. They saws me diggin 'outside. Why wouldn't I dig inside if I gots the chance? Ya lives, ya learns. I can be a rascal, ya know. Quotin' again from Wikipedia on our breed history: "the Boston Terrier has lost most of its ruthless desire for mayhem." See? Most--not all.

But I don't want no bad rep. Greg's cousin Vic called before our family re-union, which I attended by the way. Vic saw dat blog about me and was worried I'd eat his little kids. Heck almighty, not me. I love kids to death. Let me re-phrase that. I loves them like they was my little brudder. And I did. Gave them lots of sloppy wet kisses when we was up north. Kids love dat.

There was lots of dogs up there and I behaved just as good as the rest. There was this bite-sized (oops) Yorkie named Franchesco that would run after his master, nipping at her ankles. Biting your master? Dat’s uncivilized. I wanted to wrassle around with him but he was quicker than a long-haired mouse in a horse parade.

Then there was dis big white retriever mutt named Barley, probly named after Marley from Marley and Me, since they resembled eachother. He belonged to Greg's cousin Gabe and his wife Kristen. That dog wouldn't stay put. Walkin' away, jumpin' in stranger's cars. Never catch me doing that. Dat's uncivillized.

The family played lots of volleyball--the geezers versus the youngsters--and Barley would mosey among the older players while they were trying to hit the ball. Kristen said he was just checkin' on folks to make sure they were okay but hang, the geezers won half the games even though a bunch of them was over 50. I'd say they was more than okay.

I'm not that sure about Gabe and Kristen. When it was late at night, they stripped down to their skivvies and jumped in the lake. I was in that lake. It was COLD! Even in the day. Then in the middle of the night I was sleepin' in the cabin and I sees Gabe come in to use the bathroom. After he's finished, he crawls into bed with his uncle Tim. I thought it was cozy curled up on the couch with Big Dave's son Scott. Tim's bed wasn't much bigger than da couch. Dat’s uncivilized.

So Kristen had to come in to RETRIEVE her husband and take him back out to their tent. Maybe he was sleepwalkin' or under the influence of somethin' . . . whatever, but where was Barley the retriever on THAT one? Da bum.

And I didn't see no Barley either when Big Dave got struck on the arm by a stray firework. It bled a little but he was okay. Next day one of the women wanted to take a picture of the wound. Big Dave said to hold on till he flexed his bicep so his arm would look more photogenic. When he was ready, Lindsay said, "That's flexed??!"

She shouldn't diss Big Dave like that since she's gonna be his daughter-in-law someday. Dat’s uncivilized. Maybe I should start nipping at her ankles like Franchesco to keep her in line. Big Dave’s all right, even if he is a little fussy about his plants.


Blogger Kacey said...

Really cute post, Dave. But, the last bit about the firecracker scares the bejabbers out of me. Is your tetanus shot up to date? I had an aunt who was grazed on the arm by a firecracker at nineteen and the died two weeks later from lockjaw. Check it out with your doctor!!!!!!

10:15 AM  
Blogger jan said...

Great post, Simon. Who's Dave? We need more blogs by dogs who don't talk puppy talk.

Hope you talk your humans unto giving you your own blog so we can find out what REALLY happens.

11:08 AM  
Blogger Lucy Stern said...

Simon, according the the defination...."if properly socialized, (Boston Terriers) get along well with children, the elderly, other canines, and non-canine pets." I think the rabbit fits into the catagory of "non Canine pets." I think you are just trying to get attention any way you can and you don't care if it's good attention or bad there!!!!

BTW: I probably would have said, "that's flexed?" too, if I had seen Big Dave's arm. As men get older, there arm's just don't flex the same as they did when they were 19 yrs. old.

Tell Dave, Miss Lucy was not trying to sell the Presidential Canidates cookie cookbook, she was just interested in the recipes...I wish they had given us Michelle Obama's "quirky" indgredient too. I liked Cindy McCain's recipe for Butterscotch cookies. (The KFC dinner sounds good too, and easy.)

I'm with kacey on the tetanus shot thing....When was your last one??? Don't tell me your can't remember...If you can't remember, then you need one.

Have a good fourth, Simon and his buddy Big Dave....Wendy too. You too Grandpa and the Enforcer.

11:19 AM  
Blogger Lynilu said...

I love da accent. I can tell you're from Bahhhhhhston!

Glad you had a good time at the reunion. Aren't you glad Big Dave doesn't hold grudges or he might have banned you. He seems like a good sort.

And no, don't start nipping at heels. That so ..... whinny small dog!

11:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Simon SNORES!!!
I can hardly believe that you caught any of that action, you slept the whole time.

Francesco Yorkshire Terrier-the best one
Spelled-Francesco(the whinny small dog)

6:56 PM  
OpenID caroldee said...

LMAO. this was hilarious.. well done well done!! Hope you survived all the storms. Man they were really something. I felt lucky to come out alive in this one!! take care happy 4th to you and yours! :)

8:15 PM  
Blogger Fred said...

This is great, Simon. I'm not completely convinced that you've turned over a new leaf yet. In fact, I think you'd eat it if we weren't looking.

We're willing to forgive and forget. Stay clean and keep out of the plants.

Tell Dave and his family to have a great holiday!

7:21 AM  
Anonymous bonnie said...

Simon is quite evolved. You really ought to pay him for writing one of your best posts to date. Perhaps you could buy him a little something to keep him warm:

9:45 AM  
Blogger Big Dave T said...

KACEY--You're scaring me. I turned down a tetanus booster this year claiming I thought I had just had one. Now I wonder.

JAN--Simon's still a puppy, so he's always on the go. Probably doesn't have time to blog.

LUCY--Thanks for that update. Now you have me curious as to what kind of cookie Michelle Obama was baking.

LYNILU--Well, I did ban Doogie. He didn't come as I thought the fireworks would leave him terrified. Last time Doogie was up at the cabin around the Fourth, the noise of firecrackers drove him under the bed. And there he stayed.

FRANCESCO--Whining about a little typo? Remember, dogs don't spell too well.

CAROLDEE--There were quite a few branches down around Ann Arbor. Doogie stayed down the basement as he can't handle the thunder. If we'd had a tornado though, he was in the best spot.

FRED--I don't think I'd turn my back on Simon either. In fact, while the other dogs were fairly free to roam up north, Simon was kept on a tight leash. So tight, in fact, he had sores afterwards. (He needs a bigger harness)

BONNIE--Simon wouldn't be caught dead in such a thing. He already has Doogie's old Michigan sweater. And remember, he destroys plants, so we think he has a thing against green. Good dog.

11:31 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

I think the dog has the family well-pegged.

12:44 PM  
Blogger Sadie said...

Thank goodness my buddy Doogie was at "Camp H" during the re-union. I watched these three crazy males interacting with much entertainment. Walking in ash filled fire bowls, digging holes, swimming (unsupervised) in the lake, and drinking water from the creek. Doogie, my buddy, us seniors KNOW better.

Princess Sadie – Companion of BD’s sister and bro-in-law.

7:59 AM  
Blogger poopie said...

Dat is a downright hilarious post! And very civilized :)

1:06 PM  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi Dave ~~ Congrats for getting the e mail from God, mine must have gone astray. Excellent answer, so keep up the good work, we're counting on you.
Glad you liked the look of some of my family, I do too, but I could be
biased. I hope you had a great picnic
on the fourth July and lots of fun.
That's a pretty cute and intelligent
dog you have in Simon. Take care, Dave and Best Wishes, Merle.

11:33 PM  
Blogger Spider63 said...

We are victims of circumstance. I get blamed for everything that gets chewed too. Where is the justice?

Let's make a break for it. I hear there's a farm where a little pig runs everything fair for all the animals.

Jack Russell Terrier

2:20 PM  
Blogger Big Dave T said...

HOSS--Dogs learn pretty quickly how to go along to get along.

SADIE--Nice picture. Simon would have mentioned you too but you didn't do anything too funny or outrageous.

POOPIE--We can be civilized. Just takes some effort.

MERLE--We did have a nice picnic, then went to see the fireworks. First time in a while for that.

SPIDER 63--Why can't dogs stick to chew toys and be done with it.

7:11 PM  
Blogger Barley said...

Barley here - Ok Simon is that a Boston accent or a Cajun accent because I can't tell. And who you callin a bum. I saw why you were so good all weekend, your masters had a never ending supply of treats they were giving you, I had to scrounge around for my treats and if that took jumping into a beach goers car to catch a sniff of the picnic baskets so be it. Treats are hard to come by since my masters are trying to keep me slim and fit so I can defend my self if say a little Boston Terrier gets out of line.

7:31 AM  
Blogger Carine said...

my computer died and this is the first I've been able to get here thanks to hubby's laptop.
It was worth the wait Dave, great post-however, I'm w/ everyone else-you do have an up-to-date tetanus shot, right?????

8:33 AM  
Anonymous south dakota selects said...

great weekend, hope the wound healed, kc felt bad about it for a day. i brought barleys chew toy back here and will mail it for x-mas. i left wendys and the enforcers x-mas presents at the cabin. oops. geezers rock!!

5:08 PM  
Blogger Big Dave T said...

BARLEY--Now we've heard from all the dogs. If you stay as fit and trim as your masters, you'll be doing well.

CARINE--I'm going to be sure to ask about that tetanus shot next visit. Since it's been over a week since the fireworks accident, I figure I'm okay now.

SOUTH DAKOTA--You didn't happen to see a couple chairs Greg may have left behind, did you?

6:59 PM  
Blogger Lucy Stern said...

Hey Dave, am I allowed to brag:::: Bonnie got an "A" in her Calculas class!!!!

8:27 AM  
Blogger Lucy Stern said...

Sorry Dave, that was mean, please forgive me.

10:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Simon, you sound like a real character. But wait a sec.....I thought you were a BOSTON Terrier. Hmmm......sounded like you were talking with a Jersey accent. Drop the "r's" know....pak your ca in the Havad yad!

6:03 AM  
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