Wednesday, June 11, 2008

The Twenty-Minute Blog

Our local library recently underwent a multi-million dollar renovation. Part of that meant an upgrade of computer services. For some computer users now, internet access is timed. You have 20 minutes to do whatever you need to do on-line.

So I thought it would be neat to do a twenty-minute blog. Kinduva cool writing exercise. Blog express! I only have 17 minutes left, but here goes . . .

Uhhhhhhh, mmmmmmmm, guess I could blog about the highlights of my past week. I have this gloriously oversized plant above my desk at work. It's a talking point among my work team members.

Unfortunately, the new growth this year all decided to "go to the light", a fluorescent row of lights next to my cubicle. That created an unbalanced situation and my big plant toppled over onto my desk, burying everything there. My calculator was buried and dead (dead and buried?). It no longer worked. I had to get a new one.

(I have 15 minutes left) . . . Since this plant had been working with me for five years or so through thick and thin, I decided to try a rescue. I re-potted it in a larger pot, with more dirt, then watered it and put in on a bay window sill at home.

Enter Simon, my son's Boston Terrier whom I spoke about earlier when he killed a rabbit and dragged its carcass into our house. My wife and I dog-sat Simon this past weekend, keeping a close eye on him. But not close enough.

"Oh my God." I heard my wife's voice call out from downstairs, waking me up on Sunday morning. Simon had "un-potted" my plant. Again, dirt everywhere--on the window sill, ABOVE the window sill, on the sofa nearby, on the carpet, etc. Bad dog! Bad dog!

(11 minutes left) . . .

I've blogged here recently on my coin-hunting expeditions. I like to look out for the spare dollar or dime lying about. On Saturday, I was riding my bike when I spied a cache of quarters. Six of them strewn about in the middle of a busy intersection, all glistening in the light of the early evening sun.

It took a real-life game of Frogger over the course of several minutes, but I got the quarters. All of them.

So you would think my announcement to the family would bring some congratulatory responses. Not to be. In fact, family members chided me, saying I probably stole some child's ice cream money.

That's speculation, but it has some basis. The intersection is a block away from a Dairy Queen and it was a hot day. A kid could very likely have been hurrying to cross with the light when his handful of quarters slipped from his sweaty palms, rolling out into traffic.

(Seven minutes . . . )

But why guilt me? Do you ever see a reporter ask a mega-million lotto winner, "Sir, do you realize that by winning the lotto, you probably took the dollar of a man who was hoping and praying that he could win the lotto to pay for his life-saving liver transplant?"

No, you don't do you? So why should I feel bad. Kids eat too much ice cream these days anyway.

(Still five minutes; gee I'm quick when I rant) . . .

(Four minutes now . . . )

Let me end with a joke. That Simon who dug up my plant is going through a digging phase of puppyhood. I found a big hole he dug next to a tomato plant. In the hole he had dropped a rock. Not a bone, a chew toy or something like that. A rock!

So here's the joke. What do Simon and George W. Bush have in common. Answer: They both have a plan to save Iraq (a rock).

Well, what do you expect for 20 minutes. I have three minutes left. (two now). Forgive any typos or misspellings.

25 Comments:

Blogger Dust-bunny said...

Dave, omigosh, you are hilarious. That bad dog of your son's is a hoot. How on earth did he get dirt ABOVE the window sill?? I'm still laughing!!

Hope all is well. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things, although I'm not sure if I'll succeed at this point! But I missed my blog!

8:03 PM  
Blogger Lynilu said...

Hah!! That's funny!! If I had to time my blog posting .... well, it would be stressful! I don't think I could do that.

I love the dog story! Simon must keep life interesting for your son! That breed has a reputation for being scamps.

9:08 PM  
Blogger Lee said...

Well done, Dave! You deserve the "Twenty-Minute Medal of Honour"!

Hope all is well with you and yours.

9:17 PM  
Blogger Dave said...

*laughing* and here I thought perfection took time!!!

Nice job Dave! (and keep the quarters.. and don't let anyone make you feel guilty!)

4:33 AM  
Blogger Carine said...

I liked it Dave! I need to start doing things like this-I just wrote a 15 cooking column blog on one of the websites I work for. Seems w/ my "fatal error" and trying to write 4 articles and the day job-I'm running out of time to actually get all my work done! speaking of which, I sort of started to write tomorrow's blog-better get to what's left of my Word and type it. seems the MIL has to come over for dinner tomorrow. great.
but I love this blog!

8:16 AM  
Blogger jan said...

Well crafted and you managed to save a child from a lifetime of obesity.

11:00 AM  
Blogger Kacey said...

I just love you, Dave! (Don't tell Wendy that little, old ladies dig the way you think) You are such a treat in a world of bloggers who are full of their own importance. Twenty minutes of pure entertainment!

11:57 AM  
Blogger Fred said...

There's no way I could do that in 20 minutes. Heck, this comment will take at least five.

11:58 AM  
Anonymous Deb said...

Oh wow. I didn't know you had Dairy Queen up there.

Your grandpup sounds like a terror. HEHE. It'd be a close competition to see who's more mischievous, the pup or my two boys.

12:18 PM  
Blogger Betty said...

That dog makes mine look like an angel! And mine was mighty bad today......

It's a good thing you don't use many photos- you never could have finished in 10 minutes! The uploading takes forever!

Along with everyone else, I'm very impressed with what you managed to accomplish in only 20 minutes' time. Good job, Big Dave!

Hugs,
Betty

5:25 PM  
OpenID caroldee said...

HAH.. you are one fast typist.. I would be no where with a time limit on my blog entries.. no where..LOL.. Hope you have a wonderful Father's DAY weekend.. Hope the MIS race doesn't get rained out too! : )

9:08 AM  
Blogger Big Dave T said...

DUST-BUNNY-- It's one of those windows that opens up, so there was dirt on top of the window where it locks.

LYNILU--Simon is a terror to the older dogs in the family. He runs up to them, gives them a bump almost knocking them over, then runs off. They look at him like, "What'd you do that for?" He is a scamp.

LEE--I did have a pretty good idea of what I wanted to write about ahead of time.

DAVE--I never feel guilty over my found money. I've found purses and wallets too, but have always returned them. Only once did I get any kind of reward there.

CARINE--Reminds me of my days in journalism. I still have nightmares of deadlines coming with nothing to write about.

JAN--Thanks. That makes me feel better. Now I just have to make sure not to spend the money on junk food myself.

KACEY--To be honest, I'm not sure Wendy even reads my blog comments here. She has her own interests.

FRED--Same here. Sometimes I have a hard time coming up with a relevant and meaningful comment. Don't know why that is.

DEB--I thought Dairy Queens were pretty much universal, like McDonalds or Subway.

BETTY--I do have some film that I want to get developed and I may put up some pictures yet. I want to put up an updated picture of Simon for one.

9:16 AM  
Blogger Nankin said...

I don't think I'd be dogsitting Simon again. He sounds like one dog in need of the "dog Whisperer">

2:57 PM  
Blogger Lucy Stern said...

Dave, isn't it amazing what you can type in 20 minutes......Sorry for the lose of your potted plant and the death of your calculator...lol. Why are you still "baby sitting" Simon? Are you crazy?

I think you were very brave for going out into the middle of the intersection and rescuing those quarters.....Did you go spend them at the Dairy Queen? I would have bought a small banana split blizzard....yummmmmmmm

6:51 PM  
Anonymous cassie-b said...

I've never timed how long it takes to create a post. Some are very long - some are not.

Happy Father's Day

Cas

8:09 AM  
Blogger Renee said...

Happy Fathers Day Dave!!

8:28 PM  
Blogger LZ Blogger said...

Big Dave ~ My son was complaining the other day that a squirrel in his backyard keeps pulling out his plants by the roots... the difference seems to be, that the squirrel is NOT his pet and there is NO rock planting going on here either. ~ jb///

6:47 AM  
Blogger simply me said...

LOL LOL!!! you are a clever man. So is the Dog.

4:12 AM  
Blogger Big Dave T said...

NANKIN--As a Boston Terrier, Simon has very big ears. I don't think you would have to whisper loud.

LUCY--Since Greg watched Doogie, we felt obligated to watch Simon.

I did go to Dairy Queen this week, and I did take your advice and get a banana split blizzard. Just a small one though.

CASSIE--Sometimes I'll sit and sit and never come up with a good post. You just have to feel "inspired" I think.

RENEE--Thanks for the Father's Day wish. Hea, I had some fun at that MagMyPic site. Thanks for posting that.

LZ--Never heard of squirrels doing that. They did trash my old bird feeder. Now I have a squirrel-proof feeder that seems to leave them frustrated. Now you have me worried that they'll take it out on my garden.

SIMPLY ME--Thanks. It helps to keep an eye out for the funny stuff that happens from day to day.

4:40 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

If you have that much good stuff, remind me to send you some extra minutes.

6:19 PM  
Blogger curious servant said...

That was a fun read.

Working in a cubicle... there is a viral video going around about that on U Tube

search: office freak

6:32 PM  
Blogger Spider63 said...

Bush and your dog also have the same IQ and have both dug big holes for America. Thank heavens that after the USA goes bankrupt that Iraq will have democracy for about five minutes. A great accomplishment in American history. Forcing democracy on a savage land where Americans are the most hated.

5:07 AM  
Blogger Big Dave T said...

HOSS--I had that "good stuff" saved up in my head. I didn't have any more minutes worth. Would have had to steal your material.

CURIOUS SERVANT--Thanks, I hadn't seen that video. Pretty wild. I see there is a debate whether it's real or faked. My vote is on real.

SPIDER63--Sometimes I think Democracy is relative. After all, Bush wasn't really elected by a majority his first time-around. In most "democracies" it would have been Al Gore the winner.

9:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well done! NO way could I be put on a timer for doing my blog posts. I'd probably be finished in 10 minutes, but I'd hate the thought of being timed.
Gotta love that Simon....lol Poor puppy! He sure manages to get into some scrapes.
Terri
http://www.islandwriter.net

1:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

滿..................................................

10:31 PM  

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