Camping---The Dog's Rant

This is Doogie's blog. Yes, the family dog. And I have a big bone to pick.

My master and family recently went on their annual camping trip to Silver Lake State Park, as is their custom. Now usually when they go on vacation, I get to stay at grandma's. That's fine with me. Grandma takes me on lots of walks, at all times of the day, at my request. And if I pull hard enough on the leash, I get to lead. Grandpa feeds me from the table. I have the run of the house. It's great.

Now the masters think that camping is good for me. I get to experience the outdoors like my forefathers did. Hea, there are many reasons dogs moved in with people. Bugs, dirt, rain, predators to name a few. So camping means I get tied to the picnic table. There is dirt in my water dish, dirt in my food dish. I even lie in the dirt. Ants and god knows what else crawl all over me. And there's absolutely no barking because this is a "state park." No barking?? You gotta be kidding! There could be a bear sneaking up on me because here I am ya know, a hot dog on a string. And I have to stay quiet???

Yeah sure, it's great fun for the masters. While I'm sitting in the car (they're gracious enough to park in the shade where it's only 80 degrees instead of 90), they're going for a ride in an open air dune scooter. What? Riding around with the wind blowing in your face is MY favorite thing to do! Talk about cruelty to animals. How would they like it if they were tied to the picnic table and had to watch ME swim on the beach. Sure, can't do that, because rules say no dogs within 20 feet of the beach. I'd like to bite the guy who made that rule.

So the last night we camped, my masters decided not to put the rain tarp on top of our tent, thinking it wasn't going to rain. Of course, I knew it would . . . cause dogs know that kind of thing. In the middle of the night, a big thunderstorm swept in from the west. My masters rushed out to try to put the rain tarp on. I went out with them because I figured they would do the smart thing--pack up and go home. And I wasn't going to be left behind. But they instead groped around in the rain, with only an occasional lightning strike providing them any illumination to guide them. I knew they were putting the rain tarp on wrong, because I'm a dog and my eyes see better at night. But I was already wet and muddy so what did I care. So there were puddles in the tent. To make it worse, I made sure I left muddy pawprints all over their camping beds. Well, now maybe next year instead of camping we'll go squirrel hunting, something we can ALL enjoy.