Tuesday, September 11, 2007

This Blog Censored!

True. My wife Wendy who proofreads all my blogs before they appear here thought my latest post about a few recent trips to the doctor (nothing serious) was too personal. But it was funny.

So I’ll ramble on about other recent events instead.

Could talk about our little dog Doogie. Last week he was barking furiously downstairs in the middle of the night. I rushed down to see what creature or intruder he had surprised only to find our mutt nonchalantly circling our living room. He looked surprised to see me. Then it was as if he said, “Wow, you’re up too? Well, as long as you’re up, why don’t you let me out” as he strolled to the door.

Here’s something odd. Another rant I wrote about our dog, Dogging The Dog, was visited quite often by web surfers from overseas, particularly the United Kingdom. Why? “Dogging” is British slang for engaging in sexual acts in semi-private places—cars, movie theatres, parks, etc. or watching the same. What “Dogging the Dog” meant in that context I don’t know, but whatever it was sounds pretty perverted if you ask me. Shame on you Brits.

Oh, the bees I wrote about a couple weeks ago? They won. I bought another mailbox and attached it to a different part of my house. This exasperated a friend of mine who e-mailed me, “Now what kind of self-respecting home-owner are you, losing a battle with the bees. That is too pathetic to even comment on. And spending money for a new mailbox? I’m starting to think I don’t know you anymore.”

So I tallied up the score for him in my bee war: A bottle of insecticide that attached to my hose so I could spray the nest ($12). A re-fill of the same when that didn’t work ($10). About five cans of cheaper “kills on contact” spray ($2 to $4 each). A plastic bee trap that is supposed to attract the bees from the nest ($10). I saw one bee checking out the trap from the outside. No bees trapped.

All this money and effort hardly put a dent in my bee population so . . . one new mailbox ($12). Problem solved. My buddy is a literature professor and has been a bookworm going back to our high school days. I said to him, “You’ve must have read the phrase, ‘throwing good money after bad.’” Hence, the mailbox.

After another catastrophic football loss by my beloved Michigan football team on Saturday, some have noted that this is the fourth straight loss for the U of M since the death of former head football coach and U of M legend Bo Schembechler. So some fellow Wolverine fans and myself are going to try to resurrect Bo this week to stop the losing. We’ve never done anything like this before so anything can happen. If you notice ALL the dead walking around later this week, we screwed up.

Speaking of screw-ups, I tried to tamper with my computer—me of little computer knowledge. My son Scott had received a picture of his Russian family he stayed with when a student abroad. When I tried to re-program the computer so it would open the FotoCanvas file, I inadvertently made it so ALL my programs now open with FotoCanvas. I tried to do a “restore” to fix it but even my restore program opened in FotoCanvas. So I just have internet access right now. Oh, and the Fotocanvas program didn’t make the picture appear either.

Scott also mentioned something else which is pertinent since it’s 9/11 or thereabouts. We Americans sometimes forget that there are terrorists operating in other countries that we never hear about. Scott found out that about a train bombing in Russia that happened on the same rail line he had traveled on about a month earlier. Sixty people were injured, six critically.

Kinda puts my FotoCanvas, bee, Bo and dog problems in perspective, doesn’t it.

23 Comments:

Anonymous cassie-b said...

Don always attacks bee and wasps nests after dark - when all the creatures are at home. But I think your solution was much kinder.

Cas

11:24 AM  
Blogger Carine said...

Dave, gotta tell you two things: I can totally relate to the computer issues (LOL! I make you look like a whiz) and as far as the bees go, well in a retirement area about 4 miles from me-a woman had been living w/, get this, over 5500 of them in her attic since the beginning of the year!
they'd sting her in the shower, buzz around her head while she slept and got chased around! Finally, a beekeeper donned his attire and removed the hive. She says she misses them already and the quiet is too much for her to bear! LOL. True, honest.

5:33 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Boy, I wish I could have been a fly on the wall when you were saving (losing? one of the two) all that money....

6:51 PM  
Blogger Matty said...

Hmm. I learn something new everyday. I thought 'dogging' meant following someone.

11:11 PM  
Blogger Spidey said...

The Curse of Bo may be bigger than we realize. I recall when Bo died before the big game that one of the Michigan players had been in the news. I think he had just been bragging, but I thought it was kind of ominous that Bo died right after that, and right before the big game.

Don't be surprised if it is another 86 years before Michigan wins the National Title. Bo is angry, and this is a lot bigger than the bees.

1:30 AM  
Blogger Squirrel said...

Well even though we missed out on the funny doctor visit post you did great covering with this one!

9:52 AM  
Blogger Kacey said...

Oh, Dave --- I just love you and your rambling thought processes. Here in one post we get lessons on apiaries, animal husbandry and Michigan football --- though I am not certain which is which. As far as perspective goes, we have to keep living our lives, but be mentally aware of the sorrows around us.
Thanks for the vote for my essay, Dave --- I really appreciate good friends!

11:41 AM  
Blogger Peter said...

All problems are relative Dave, (specially those within a family) but your chosen ones are funny.

7:09 PM  
Blogger LZ Blogger said...

Big Dave ~ The proof-reader always gets the GOOD stuff! But, I am thinking postrate check here! I've got a few of those funny stories myself! I now have a female doctor (with smaller fingers ya' KNOW?!)
PC's... Can't live with them. can't live w/o them! ~ jb///

11:58 AM  
Anonymous GTackle said...

Dave,
Right click on the file you wish to open and select "open with" then select "Choose Program". When the list opens, select the program, and check the box on the bottom "Always use the selected program to open this type of file". Now if all your files open with the same program, you will have to change this for a lot of files. Hope this helps.

12:32 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Hey Dave, hope everything is okay with you.

I always thought "dogging" meant harassing someone. Well...hehe..that's a word I'll have to take out of my vocabulary.

1:05 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Hi Dave,

Today, while riding as a passenger to the doctor's office, we pulled up to a drive-thru Dunkin' Donuts to pay for coffee. We noticed a large jar filled 1/3 up with what looked like honey. Apparently, the bees smell the sweetness, crawl through the small opening in the lid, and then get stuck in the honey and drown. An ironic death for them, but at least they died happy!

2:10 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

PS...how do you know who visits your site and where they're from if they don't leave a comment?

2:11 PM  
Blogger Babette said...

I was half-expecting to find a post on the Lions winning a game here.

So, there IS something more important than college football after all?

Oh, well...I won't hang around waiting. I have these children to attend to and I don't want any sitemeter/blogcrawler turning me in for neglect. The thanks I get for being a loyal needler, er, reader!?

5:23 PM  
Anonymous Maria said...

Have to careful with those words and the English. I had an English friend when I lived in Germany. He loved saying, "I'll knock you up." meaning he would call. Sure was a shock the first time I heard it. Made me want to rush out and get some birth control pills.

8:15 PM  
Blogger Lee said...

Buying the new letterbox and placing it in a different spot is definitely not throwing good money after or at bees! Just think, when they discover they have a new home, they'll all move over there and you'll have your old mailbox back! ;)

9:39 PM  
Blogger Big Dave T said...

BONNIE--I do appreciate your loyalty, needling or no. I just have to learn to cool off before responding to one of your jibes after a still rare but significant Wolverine letdown.

So you saw what I posted at Vickie's. Heh, heh. Figured you would. But, honestly, I would never do anything nefarious. Unless miracle of miracles should happen and MSU beats Michigan. Since that's never happened in recent memory, I can't predict what I'd do or say then.

11:01 PM  
Blogger Babette said...

Thanks, Dave, I think?!

The one thing that is trumping college football for us presently is watching our Malcolm play varsity high school football. He's having a great season. I know you and Wendy have fond memories of those days.

When I told Malcolm recently that I would rather see the Wolverines lose than the SPARTANS win, he chastised me for my poor sportsmanship. He's still a bit GREEN behind the ears, as you can tell.

12:03 PM  
Blogger Babette said...

P. S. Good luck against Notre Dame today. Just kidding!

12:05 PM  
Blogger MSU gal said...

they absolutely trounced Notre Dame and I am glad because I don't like Notre Dame. This should brighten your spirits Dave! I believe the Notre Dame team has been over-rated for years because Regis Philbin refuses to retire! I would love to see his reaction on his show mon. if I didn't have to work! I am praying that my team beats them too!

7:56 AM  
Anonymous Terri said...

...And all seems well in Dave's world.
Glad to hear the bees are history.
And gotta love that Doogie! He's my kinda dog!

9:06 AM  
Blogger Lucy Stern said...

I wonder how long it will take before the bees discover the new mail box? I do want to hear about the doctor visit.....How's your blood sugar?

8:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

滿..................................................

10:59 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home