Awwwww, over already?

After the longest and most expensive campaign in history, the election is over. Doesn't it make you sad?

I no longer go home to see my phone lit up with answering machine messages from various candidates. I no longer have to sort through all kinds of campaign literature in the mail to find bills and important stuff. I no longer get to see the same negative political attack ad over and over and over on television.

All in favor of a dictatorship instead of democracy raise your hand. I'm there.

Yeah, I got it from both sides. I have to give credit to the Obama people. They seemed to know that both my boys, who are still registered to vote in our home precinct here, would vote Democratic. And the Obama people also knew it would take a lot of nagging to get them to the polls. It sometimes takes a lot of nagging to get young people to do want you want them to do, right?

So I had several campaign workers from Obama's campaign knocking at the door or calling on the phone, trying to reach my two sons, neither of whom actually live at home right now. On Sunday when I explained their circumstances to a Democratic volunteer, she said she would scratch my name off their list so we would not be bothered anymore.

Five minutes later an Obama volunteer called on the phone! Again trying to reach my sons! Well, they did finally get hold of Greg on our phone. I mean the law of averages were in their favor. If they kept calling our house enough they were bound to find him visiting us sooner or later. And they did finally, right on election day.

But the GOP are no slouches either when it comes to bugging people. My work e-mail has been inundated with various Republican pitches for this candidate or that one. And ALL of them come with a request for money (I've never contributed as much as a dime to any political candidate). Towards the end of the campaign I was receiving several e-mails a day. How they got past my spam filter I don't know. And how they got my work e-mail address I don't know either. I blame a disgruntled co-worker for giving it to them.

I could usually quickly spot and delete these partisan pitches from my in-box but towards the end they were getting clever. Instead of getting an e-mail from some Republican or GOP website, it would be a real person who was sending me an e-mail, subject "Urgent: Four Days." Thinking it might be an upcoming work deadline, I would open it hurriedly only to find it to be about the election. And another pitch for money.

So now my inbox is cleared of anything having to do with campaigns. The postman at home only delivers the usual amount of junk mail. There are no messages awaiting for me on my phone at home. I can eat dinner in peace without a knock on the door.

Oh, oh. Wait a minute! What's this in my inbox here? It's an e-mail with the subject title, "Not over Yet." Let's see what it says . . .

"Thanks to your critical support our Senate firewall held up against a tidal wave of liberal attack ads and the Obama Get-Out-The-Vote machine. But the fight goes on ... as three Senate races have yet to be decided. Please donate $25 today . . . "

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO